So, it’s another one of those vaguely unsettling mornings. Not only was my sleep unrestful–maybe I was too keyed up from the excitement of finally posting this website–but I awoke groggily to no coffee, a queasy stomach, and that insipid Baby One More Time Britney Spears diddy running through my head. (If any of you actually add that to your shopping cart, I don’t wanna know. Just send me a copy as soon as you possibly can.) Why’s the damn thing so catchy, anyway? It’s like e-@#$%!-bola virus.
Now that I think of it, forget Marilyn Manson: how many psycho teens have been driven to the brink of campus carnage by the unholy trinity of Spears/Aguilera/Lopez? It’s my vaguely educated guess that the (until recently) American school shooting fad didn’t hit until the 1990s simply because Debbie/Tiffany/Martika hadn’t sold their virginal temptress souls to Beelzebub in exchange for unforgettable melodies. I mean, really, how many of us remember the tune to Toy Soldiers?
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