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The beach was fun, in a way.

I swam in the water, which was mostly blue.

I saw many jellyfish, but no sharks.

I grew tan, except where I grew red.

I went shopping in outlet malls, where I found good shoes and bad shoes.

I worked on Pop Tarts, which isn’t funny yet.

I have been informed by one of my favorite trivia princesses that we are not the first Pop Tarts, which means we have a reputation to live up to.