sturtle [dot] com

Personally, I don’t have a problem with the Pentagon’s weird-ass plan to set up a worldwide betting parlor for freaks who like to wager on terrorist acts. As long as they include a special section for some of us to lay down our ducats estimating how many times W will say “newkewlur” or “‘merkins” in his next speech (e.g. “My fellow merkins, we ain’t found ’em yet, but I know that ol’ Saddam had some newkewlur weapons in his toolshed.”) or guessing which Republican senator will be the next to accuse a Democratic senator of infidelity or homosexuality or “rewriting history,” I’m cool.