So I’m sitting here on the sofa, answering email with the TV on and muted, and I look up, and CNN is doing a special on Britney. Apparently, they’re comparing her to Madonna, because they keep intercutting footage from Britney’s concerts with stuff from Madonna videos and, of course, countless frames from their publicity stunt-cum-lesbotronic lip-lock at the MTV awards. And while I can’t hear the (inevitably banal) commentary, seeing the two over-preened pop tarts side-by-side, one thing is made abundantly clear: Britney will never be as interesting as Madonna because she lacks the latter’s–dare I say it?–gravitas.
See, with Madge (aka Esther), we know we’re looking at a costume; she’s always winking at us, as if to say, “You think this is outrageous? Just wait ’till next month!” When we look at Britney, though, what we see is what we get. She doesn’t have the edge, the intelligence, the otherworldly glamour of Madonna, because after the show’s over, we see her schlepping around in cut-offs and flip-flops. She’s no different from the rest of us.
And, fyi, Madonna would never be caught walking and smoking.
Um, okay, could I get any gayer?
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