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One last comment on the election, and then I’ll shut up. For a while. Maybe.

Yesterday afternoon, I was starting to let it all go. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, I drove around with my car windows down, I walked a bit in the Quarter, I spent some quality time with the boyfriend. All in all, life didn’t seem too terribly different than it did a week ago.

Then I made the mistake of opening my laptop and rooting around to see if other homos were feeling the same way, which eventually led me to Andrew Sullivan:

But the most fundamental fact of this campaign – and one of the reasons it has been so bitter – is that we are at war. Our opponents at home are not our enemies. The real enemy is the Jihadist terror network that, even now, is murdering innocents and coalition soldiers in Iraq. Our job now – all of us – is to support this president in that war, to back those troops, and to pray for victory…. The past is the past. And George W. Bush is our president. He deserves a fresh start, a chance to prove himself again, and the constructive criticism of those of us who decided to back his opponent. He needs our prayers and our support for the enormous tasks still ahead of him. He has mine. Unequivocally.

I’m sorry Andrew, but have you gone completely nuts? When did your memory become so brazenly selective? It sounds like you’ve been spending too much quality time with Camille Paglia. Or Ralph Reed.

Bush deserves as much criticism for the war in Iraq as we can heap upon him. I’m still not sure why he was so gung-ho to invade the Fertile Crescent (for the oil? to vindicate daddy and his half-assed war? to create a distraction from the more complex problem of terrorism?), but he did so via a cadre of disposable underlings who misled the country with bogus stats on the Hussein regime. If he’d been a responsible, thoughtful president, Bush might have seen that there were more effective ways to, in his words, “make America safer” and quell some of the jihadist invective that’s being spewn in our direction. For example:

Follow your own damn roadmap: Remember that “roadmap” thingy you put together as a blueprint for peace in the Middle East, Mr. President? Yeah, well, given that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is the primary catalyst inducing otherwise sensible young men and women to strap on several pounds of explosives and blow themselves up, you should have stuck with it. Now, I know the ties between Israel and the US are complicated, and I know that Israel deserves a state of its own, and I know that leaders on both sides of the brouhaha have to save face. I understand all that, but for chrissake, put your foot down! Insist that Israel give most, if not all, of Gaza and the West Bank to the Palestinians so they can create a legitimate state. Insist that new Jewish settlements be curtailed. Put even more pressure to bear on the Palestinians (by way of financial incentives, perhaps–see below) to crack down on terrorist groups. And as for those evangelicals who want to see Israel kept as one glorious, contiguous state just so their vengeful god can come back to Earth and mow down the Jews–well, tell Karl Rove to whip up some new, previously unpublished chapter of Revelations for ’em to swallow.

Provide incentives, not just sanctions: Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 30 years–and I’m not saying you haven’t, mind you–you know that the most effective means of training dogs, cats, and children is through positive reinforcement. The same goes for rogue states. Keep ’em in line by rewarding them for good behavior. Set your own criteria, but make sure some of that money trickles down to the common folk. If you find that other world leaders are wary of you, gussy up Laura and send her out to soften ’em up the way JFK did with Jackie. I mean, even freshmen poli-sci majors know that effective leadership means keeping your friends close and your enemies closer.

Promote secular education: C’mon, George. You’re a dad. You know all about the formative years and how important they are. You understand that if you’d paid more attention to the twins when they were younger, they might not have all these binge-drinking problems, right? Well, the same goes for young people in other parts of the world. All that Wahabi education kids are getting in Saudi Arabi, Pakistan, and elsewhere is going to have some very unpleasant payoffs over the next 10 to 20 years unless something changes now. Encourage governments to set up strong secular school systems, and make sure they’re free to the public. Poor children are the most in need of a good education–not only because education leads to better jobs and better futures for their own children, but also because without it, they stand a good chance of lapsing into the jihadist mindset so attractive to the poor. Poverty and religion are natural bedfellows, and their commingling can nuture some very unhealthy radical ideology. Hello? Just look at the support you got last Tuesday from undereducated evangelicals….

Fund your own public diplomacy departments: In case you’ve forgotten about pesky little Colin Powell, his domain (i.e. the State Department) has numerous divisions, one of which is public diplomacy. That’s the department charged with promoting cultural exchange between the US and other countries in the hopes of increasing international understanding and tolerance. By all accounts, it’s seriously under-funded. You want to win the “hearts and minds” of Muslims? Get ’em hooked on Christina Aguilera and P. Diddy. And while you’re at it, why not send a few Muslim artists (Khaled would be nice) to the Red States, just so they can see that my bio-dad and his relatives aren’t all armed with Zippo lighters and effigies of you.

So shame on you, Mr. Sullivan. You just wait and see if I offer to buy you another beer next time we cross paths. Unless, of course, you’re looking especially cute, and then…well, we’ll see. I mean, everyone makes mistakes.

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