Friday Faggotry
- Okay, here’s a news flash: I’m gay. How gay, you ask? So gay that while I stood in line at the coffee shop this morning, waiting for my fourth cup of hot, steaming caffeine, my bloodshot eyes were riveted on the woman in front of me. Obviously, I wasn’t checking out her heart-shaped ass or her perky breasticles; I was thinking to myself, “Goddammit, I know that ‘ho from somewhere.” Was she a former classmate? An erstwhile neighbor? A bartendress at one of my favorite haunts? After she left, it came to me: girlfriend looked exactly like one of my favorite appraisers on Antiques Roadshow…. An appraiser on Antiques Roadshow, ladies and gentlemen. That’s how gay I am.
- Still, I may be the biggest cakeboy on the block, and I may watch a helluva lot of TV, but apparently I missed a fascinating documentary on Thai ladyboys. How can such an obsessive-compulsive queen be so clueless?
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