Attention Wolf Blitzer, Aaron Brown, Paula Zahn, et al:
I am no longer listening to you. Any of you.
For nearly four weeks, you’ve asked the same questions over and over and over, and although the respondents have changed, the responses have not. So please, allow me to clear up things once and for all, okay?
Yes, we plan to return to New Orleans. I mean, have you been there?
No, we do not think the Feds moved quickly enough after Katrina. Not that our state and local officials are blameless, mind you, but their slip-ups pale in comparison to those of FEMA.
Yes, we plan to have a spectacular Carnival this year. Don’t believe me? Come watch the Krewe du Vieux parade from my house. Or join me for the Satyricon Ball; I’ve got a couple of extra tickets.
No, Kathleen Babineaux Blanco is not an accomplished public speaker. Maybe if she took those rocks out of her mouth….
Yes, there may be something to this whole “global warming” thing. Not that BushRoveHughesRumsfeldRice will pay it any mind, of course.
No, we do not think god hates us. Obviously, she hates Port Arthur, Texas.
Yes, I would totally nail Ray Nagin. You’d hit it, too, wouldn’t you, Aaron? I have it on good authority that you’ve got a thing for tha flava.
No, we are not making gumbo to pass the time. It’s too damn hot.
Yes, Anderson Cooper can have my phone number. (Call me, Andy!)
Got it? Great.
Tersely,
Richard
sturtle [dot] com 