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Remember syllogisms from college? For those who didn’t have the pleasure of taking Philosophy 101 (and I hope there are at least a few of you), syllogisms are exercises in deductive reasoning. As in:

1. Men play football.

2. Richard is a man.

3. Therefore, Richard plays football.

As you can see, syllogisms can lead you to draw a lot of crazy conclusions. Some, however, can be very accurate:

1. Dogs are messy.

2. I have four dogs.

3. Therefore, my house is a wreck.

Now, why don’t you try your hand at it?

1. Jonno organizes trips to the supermarket.

2. Jonno has been gone for two-and-a-half weeks.

3. Therefore, _____________________________.

There are, of course, any number of valid responses, but if you said something along the lines of, “Therefore, Richard hasn’t had a fridge that looked this desolate since that semester in college when he discovered [name illicit substance here],” you’re correct.

Seriously people, I’ve just taken an inventory of the fridge, and I’ve been able to divide it into three basic food groups:

1. Beverages

2. Condiments

3. Spinach

You don’t believe me? Check it:

my fridge, in detail

I guess it’s cool and all, being able to survive on Saltines and Sweet and Low for days on end, but I’ll be very happy to see Jonno home again.

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