If I were normal, I’d be 36,000 feet above Virginia right now. If I were normal, I’d be knocked up on sedatives and drooling on the shoulder of a complete stranger–who, also being normal, would be too timid to shove me across the aisle, even though it would be pretty obvious that he or she was being slobbered on by a fag. Ewww.
But like I said: “if”.
I arrived at the airport late thanks to some poor planning (by me) and some sloppy driving (by a guy whose car slammed sideways into a guardrail and skidded to a stop across three lanes of I-10). I rushed through security, not at all sure I’d make it, but when I arrived at the gate, the waiting area was still full of bored, listless, and occasionally irate travelers. Hooray.
That’s when the problems began. That’s when I had time to sit and think about my trip to New York–how pointless it was, really. How I could accomplish most of the things I wanted to accomplish from the comfort of my desk in New Orleans. How the conference in question always seems like a great idea, but inevitably devolves into a semi-vacation, only instead of bringing back cute sale sweaters for Jonno, I bring back press kits and business cards for my lateral filing cabinet.
The weather wasn’t helping matters. It’s miserable here, and even more miserable there: wet and rainy and cold. And of course, there are the memories of last year, which saw an eerily similar storm pattern and a life-flashing-before-eyes flight in to JFK. I’m creeping toward the Grecian Formula fast enough, thank you very much.
The big factor, though, was work–namely, the abundance of it sitting on my desk and all around my house. I really don’t have time to waste on something so…well, frivolous.
So, I’m standing there with my Diet Coke (bought on the concourse for a small fortune) pondering all this, and Jonno texts me to say that our eldest hound has been howling inconsolably since I walked out the door an hour before, and that was it. Decision made, no turning back: I snapped my phone closed and headed home.
Some people are travelers. For me, it’s never a good time to go.
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