Reasons to vote for Jackie:
1. Her alleged record of success.
2. Her famous, magnificent offspring.
3. Her endorsement by the Log Cabin Republicans (who knew they had a logo?)
Reasons not to vote for Jackie:
1. Her inability to whiten her teeth in Photoshop convincingly. Yo, seriously.
2. Her problematic use of apostrophes. I mean, hello? Spellcheck?
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