As I was letting the dogs outside for their morning constitutional, I noticed this on the jamb of the back door. If you think it’s disturbing here, you can probably imagine what it was like in person. At 7am. Before coffee.
It looks kinda like the shell of a lizard–what it might leave behind after shedding its skin–but I’m not a herpetologist (thank you, goddess), so I don’t know if lizards even shed like that. I suppose I could look it up, but that would involve typing and, more dauntingly, reading, so it’s probably not going to happen.
However, the Encyclopedia Brown in me knows that there are a bejillion lizards living around here, none of which have left behind a skin like this. Plus these remains still have toenails and stuff, which would seem like the sort of thing a reptile might want to take along. In short: it’s probably not a byproduct of molting but instead, the carcass of a lizard that someone–probably me–caught in the door as he was shutting it one day.
To the lizards of the world: if you’re reading this, please know that I am positively terrified that you have acquired the ability to read, and I submit fully to your superior will. Take my planet, please. Also: I am sorry for killing your sister, Miss Thin Lizzie. She left this world as she entered it: scaly and brown. Amen.
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