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Like a lot of people, I read the news about yesterday’s tragic shooting at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville. Unlike a lot of people, my second thought–right behind sorrow for the victims–involved a mental wager on how long it’ll be before some wingnut claims that the shooting was divine payback for the church’s open-armed acceptance of gays, lesbians, and musical theatre.

And my third thought was wondering whether the church had formally acquired the rights to Annie.

Clearly, I am a cynical, jaded, emotionless husk. Clearly, I am no longer human.

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