Please take a good look at the photo of Karl Lagerfeld above. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

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What. Is. Up. With. That. Hairline?

My thoughts:

• The Kaiser could be wearing a wig. A heavily powdered wig.

• The hair could be his, but his scalp is as white–though not as pure–as the driven snow. Meaning that the Face That Launched a Thousand Tweed Suits is covered in bronzer.

• Karl is actually the guy who played Powder in that movie. You know, Powder?

• All of the above.

The strangest thing? In the New York magazine article from which that photo was pilfered, there is absolutely no mention of the strangeness. Which is stranger than the strangeness itself. Talk about your white elephants in the room….

I am not a fan of religion.

That should not be news to anyone. I’m a gay guy from Mississippi who was raised in the Southern Baptist church, went away to a liberal arts college, read some Sartre, came out of the closet, and never darkened the door of a church again. My story is not only typical, it’s stereotypical–so stereotypical, in fact, that other people have already written my story, better than I ever could. If I could only find my rainbow beads, I’d be wearing them right now. Sigh.

(NB #1: There are two exceptions to my “no churches” rule–weddings and funerals–but they still make me nervous and angry and occasionally give me gas. Which, as I recall, is kinda how Linda Blair reacted when she got that visit from her parish priest. Just sayin’.)

None of this is to imply that I don’t respect religion or the people who’ve got it (even though some would argue that such pacifism/relativism is just as dangerous as religion itself). I mean, even I kinda have a spiritual side, but unlike a lot of religious folks I know, I don’t throw my beliefs around like they’re something that should be of interest to anyone else. Basically, I think people should be nice to one another–not too complex a philosophy, IMHO. (NB #2: Another sterotypical position. Sue me.)

Needless to say, I was pretty happy to see this editorial in today’s New York Times:

This Father’s Day, one of most popular pastors in America will open his megachurch to homosexual dads, an event that would usually signal an extreme weather alert from old guard Republican evangelical leaders.

But by welcoming gay fathers into his Southern California flock, Rick Warren, author of the “The Purpose Driven Life,” is not just living up to the highest standards of Christian fellowship, he’s turning the page on a particularly embarrassing part of our politics….

The good tidings from Warren’s Saddleback Church come at a time when Barack Obama has ditched his incendiary ex-preacher, and John McCain has separated himself from the apocalyptical Hagee.

It’s a start, but how about a clean break? Let’s go Godless for the rest of the campaign…..

— New York Times

Of course, it’s all pie in the sky, but given the godtalk filling our airwaves and the internetz, it’s a nice break. At least for me.

Holy freakin’ crap:

Bobby Jindal, the 36-year old governor of Louisiana, is being taken seriously by the national press as a candidate on the shortlist to be John McCain’s Vice President. No one doubts that he’s a political prodigy — his impressive resume includes stints as president of the state university system, a Congressman and now governor.

But one of Jindal’s job titles hasn’t gotten much attention — and it just might prompt a few questions if his Veep candidacy gains steam: Exorcist.

We’ve discovered that in an essay Jindal wrote in 1994 for the New Oxford Review, a serious right-wing Catholic journal, Jindal narrated a bizarre story of a personal encounter with a demon, in which he participated in an exorcism with a group of college friends. And not only did they cast out the supernatural spirit that had possessed his friend, Jindal wrote that he believes that their ritual may well have cured her cancer…. [emphasis mine]

And from Jindal’s essay:

It appeared as if we were observing a tremendous battle between the Susan we knew and loved and some strange evil force. But the momentum had shifted and we now sensed that victory was at hand.

While Alice and Louise held Susan, her sister continued holding the Bible to her face. Almost taunting the evil spirit that had almost beaten us minutes before, the students dared Susan to read biblical passages. She choked on certain passages and could not finish the sentence “Jesus is Lord.” Over and over, she repeated “Jesus is L..L..LL,” often ending in profanities. In between her futile attempts, Susan pleaded with us to continue trying and often smiled between the grimaces that accompanied her readings of Scripture. Just as suddenly as she went into the trance, Susan suddenly reappeared and claimed “Jesus is Lord.”

— read all the fabulousness at TalkingPointsMemo.com

I mean, I had some extreme moments in college, but, uh, nothing quite like that. Not while I was sober, anyway.

Thanks for the link, Tyler. Holy crap, thanks for the link.

Bad news: Representative Ernest Wooton (R-Belle Chasse) introduced a bill into the Louisiana legislature that would allow concealed handguns on college campuses throughout the state.

Good news: The Louisiana legislature told Representative Wooten and his wingnut cronies to shove it. At least this session.

Bad news: The legislature’s hesitancy to allow students to pack heat might have something to do with the college tuition hike they just approved. ‘Cause, you know, angry, indebted young people aren’t always a force for good.

Great news: This artist has re-envisioned Pac Man in samurai style:

Want!

There is something strange and magnificent going on in that photo above. Can you guess what it is?

Can you?

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Give up?

That’s right: it’s a mailbox. A damned mailbox (though Pastor Hagee might prefer to think of it as a mailbox of the damned). For those not from New Orleans, this may not seem like a big deal, but trust me: it’s a big freakin’ deal.

In keeping with my weirdly-obsessive-for-no-good-reason tendencies, this morning I got distracted digging around for videos set to “Gay Bar” by Electric Six. Absolutely pointless, I know. And yet, somehow fulfilling.

Not surprisingly, there are a lot of crappy ones in the genre, but there are also a few gems (all of which get very loud, so, you know, plug in the ‘phones if you’re surfing on The Man’s dime out there in Cubicle Land):

• The plushie gay bar.
• The All Your Base-esque mashup gay bar (but only for the parking lot Stormtrooper, really).
• The flying Viking kitty gay bar.
• The super-minimal World of Warcraft performance gay bar.
• And, of course, the longtime standard of gay bar vids, the original World of Warcraft gay bar:

Can I get that Girl Scout badge in library science now, plz?

Yeah, that’s right: I fixed it myself. Kiss my McGuyver ass, Mr. Gates.

Oh, ye bitches of little faith.

FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEOS! BUT DURING THE DAY!

On the left, a wee homage to the Tony Awards–which, for you non-gays, is the annual celebration of Broadway theatre that takes place a week from Sunday, on June 15. It’s awwwwwfully gay. And so’s the clip. (Also kinda hot, if you’re turned on by the thought of a fully clothed Nathan Lane squirming in a room full of mostly naked, glabrous twinkletoes.)

On the right, the newest single from Beyonce’s younger sister, Solange. (Them girls can’t stand a surname.) I’m kinda digging on the beat–it’s spare and minimal and fairly “now”–but the video concept is a little obvious, a little “haven’t we seen this before?”, a little presumptuous, even. Like, girl, don’t even try to imply you’re in the same boat with Miss Ross and Nona Hendryx. Anyway, the full album drops in August. Let’s hope for her sake and for the sake of her mother’s retirement fund it fares better than her first pop foray. Yeesh.

I’m a sucker for chai. The pre-made stuff you find at the deli is usually made with milk and ain’t so calorie-friendly, but whatever. I’ll forsake my waistline for a bit of flava any day of the week.

Among my favorite chai varietals? The one from Bolthouse Farms, with vanilla and added protein gunk. I know that looks pretty vile typed out, but trust me: ’tis rather awesome.

Unfortunately, the magic is now gone, thanks to this bit of news:

Bakersfield carrot farmer [and Bolthouse Farms owner] William Bolthouse donated $100,000 to an initiative aiming to fight gay marriage — a measure that will appear on the Nov. 4 ballot along with the presidential race. The initiative qualified for the ballot Monday, less than a month after the state Supreme Court overturned a ban on gay marriage. June 17 marks the date when California counties will be permitted to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples….

I’ve already taken the liberty of writing the company and reminding them that just as Mr. Bolthouse is entitled to his opinions, I’m entitled to switch to another brand until that asshat comes to his senses. Perhaps you would like to do the same?

Via Joe.My.God.

From the antipodes comes a bit of good and interesting news–especially for sexually active uncircumcised men:

In a world first, a University of Melbourne study has shown that topical oestrogen could help prevent HIV infection by blocking entry of the virus into the human penis.

The study to be published in PLoS ONE journal June 4 reveals that application of oestrogen to the human penis increased the thickness of the natural keratin layer on the skin, which could prevent HIV from infecting the male.

The epithelium of the human penis is richly supplied with oestrogen receptors suggesting it could respond to topical oestrogen.

Dr Andrew Pask from the Department of Zoology at the University of Melbourne analysed the tissue samples from 12 foreskins and made the discovery.

“This suggested that oestrogen could induce a thickening of the keratin layer of the foreskin epidermis in the same way as it acts in the vagina,” said Dr Pask.

“Keratin on our skin acts a barrier to viral infection. We hope to be able to enhance this protection with the use of a naturally occurring, weak oestrogen,” said Professor Roger Short of the Faculty of Medicine, Dentistry and Health Sciences who lead the research….

“In countries where circumcision is not religiously or culturally accepted, oestrogen treatments to the penis could be very effective in reducing the spread of the disease.”

— via Science Daily, via my inbox