I belive Sandra Bernhard said it best when she said, “Will someone please tell me why the world is chock full of so many IDIOTS!”

If I were running a campaign that had been consistently described as flat and undynamic, I think I might have made a different choice in running partners. Moral rectitude is fine and all, but couldn’t Gore have found someone a little jazzier to compete with the Bush/Cheney ticket? Um, and, like, maybe someone from the west coast or at least the midwest where things are a little more hotly contested than New England? Looks like we may have to get used to hearing the term “President Bush” again.

Oh well, at least we get to be the ones with the “Don’t blame me” bumper stickers for the next four years.

Actually, this may not be such a bad thing. I think queer politics has floundered these past eight years because of Clinton: we haven’t felt any pressure to get out there and push for things because we’ve got someone in the White House who’s on our side. At least Dubya will give us someone to villify, to work against. ‘Cause we all know that big GOP tent he keeps talkin’ about doesn’t have much room for homos.

Children are sexy again–overtly so. During The Simpsons there was a Gap Kids commercial featuring these 10 year-old boys doing a saucy Britney-esque group dance to an 80s-style rap version of “You Really Got Me” (reminiscent of Midnight Star) . I’m no chicken hawk–not by a long shot–but just the look in those kids’ eyes…. They were clearly selling sex.

Personally, I think it’s a good sign. Yeah, we’re still a long way from the inter-generational relationships of Ancient Rome, but it’s a start. I welcome anything that moves us away from that “Won’t someone please think of the children?!” rhetoric that assumes those under the age of 18 have no sexual agency–that’s the basis for a lot of homophobia in the West these days. It’s a correlative of that lame, unfounded “recruiting” trope. Like we set up tables and pass out brochures at county fairs in an effort to teach teenagers how to give rimjobs….

Now, that doesn’t mean I think all teens are/should be sexually active, but it’s insulting (or it was to me when I was that age) to say that kids don’t know what they’re doing when they have sex or when they feel love or lust. If I’d made Little Darlings, I would have had ’em all boinking like rabbits instead of wussing out because they realize, “Gosh, sex is a really special thing that only grown-ups should do, and I’m just not ready for that.” Sure, some of ’em would have flaked, but how could you have an entire camp full of girls and not one of them sleeping with a 16 year-old Matt Dillon? Really.

So it seems that someone finally figured it out: Missy–or rather, Parker Posey–is indeed the one.

Of course, Brian still hasn’t claimed his prize. Perhaps someone else would like it (whatever it turns out to be)….

[Coyote Ugly] looks like a big-budget version of a Miller’s Genuine Draft commercial. (After extolling the fun of alcohol, the movie is lacking only the somber tagline “Drink Responsibly,” which actually makes the Miller television spots morally superior.)

No one writes a movie review like Janet Maslin et al.

Mattie and Moesha may be in trouble.

Given my previous post, is it any surprise that I’m really wasting time?

Anyone wanna try their hand at grantwriting? Anyone? Anyone? Something “D-O-O” economics? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? I guess trial-by-fire isn’t everyone’s idea of a good time.

No, that’s okay, I’ll do it myself….

It wouldn’t be half so bad if that ice cream truck playing four repetitive bars of “Turkey in the Straw” left the neighborhood for a while. Up and down the street, up and down. The Doppler Effect’s kinda cool, though: if I were to make a film in which I played a serial killer slaughtering clowns for fun and profit, that’d be my soundtrack.

Grrr. Why has no one informed me that Scanner is playing tonight in DC? Whether he’s serving up ass-shakin’ kicks (the “Michael Jackson” one kills me) or a soft and contemplative homage to the late, great homo filmmaker Derek Jarman, Robin Rimbaud friggin’ rocks. I hope someone takes pictures.

RealiTV: Stuck at home while Jonno attended his yoga class (first Belle and Sebastian, now this–he’s gone phishy-commie-pinko-hippie on me), I found myself tidying up and listening to the TV, waiting for my weekly hour of Simpsons reruns. I kept switching back and forth between Fox’s new American High (confirmation that their target demographic is now almost as young as the WB’s) and the Republican National Convention.

Of the two, American High wins on reality points. I mean, at least they’re featuring–a la Real World–a high school-age homo. I can relate to that. The RNC, on the other hand was a little too creepy to be believable (hello, bringing on The Rock?), although they did have a gay speaker. Of course, it would have been nice if they’d allowed him to talk about civil rights instead of the oh-so-sterile international trade agenda….

Side benefit: Fox featured a very sassy anti-meth ad during the AH run. A stylish twenty-something scrubbed her house clean with a toothbrush while a happy song about crank played in the background. All in all, a very soft-sell anti-drug ad. Probably a little more effective in the long run. I wonder what took ’em so long to figure it out.