Despite everything that’s going on to the left, my gaze keeps drifting to the right. Lord Gaga, I salute you.

The DoggieLoverDoll:

When a dog tries to hump legs, stuffed animals and other objects, he cannot reach an ejaculation. With the DoggieLoverDoll he can. Human beings have their hands to masturbate themselves, now the domestic animals, which have practically no contact with females in heat, can alleviate themselves with a toy designed specifically for them.

Added bonus: its silicone vagina contains an “easy to clean reservoir”.

[via BoingBoing]

Question: What sort of person leaves her dog — a large and thick-haired one at that — in the back seat of a Pontiac Vibe on a sunny August afternoon in New Orleans while she roams the aisles of an over-air-conditioned Office Depot?

A) Leona Helmsley
B) Cruella DeVille
C) Paris Hilton
D) Michael Vick’s mother
E) A veterinary acupuncturist

Personally I’d lean toward “C”, but I’m awful at these things.

Excuse me, comrade? Mister garage person? Please to tell me what goes on in photo here? I am stranger to your country and do not understand how the making of pizzas or possibly Wallendas who are flying should be married to the industry of automotive repairment:

[Note: I’ve blurred the naughty bits in deference to sensitive types. The original is over here and is NSFW. Duh.]

A new clip from the lovely and talented and vaguely demented Christeene (aka closepersonalfriend Paul). He’s like Mary J. Blige meets Varla Jean Merman meets that junkie lady I stepped over on my way to work:

http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf

Scientific studies at a prestigious California university prove that thing this does something for someone. And stuff:

[via Dlisted]

Clearly, someone has overcome his aversion to his own innate bearishness:

About damn time I say.

FYI: you’ll likely see this photo again — perhaps in conjunction with an event taking place in New Orleans at One Eyed Jacks on Saturday, October 24. (Mark your calendars.) But hey, what do I know?

Seriously, I can’t stop watching this. Is that gay of me? (Rhetorical, dearie.)

[via the NOLA.com feed on my RSS reader]

[Clean Living In Difficult Circumstances via BB]