Our accountant is here today. She comes in about once a week or so, just to reconcile the books and make sure everything’s coded properly in the financial database. She’s very smart, very efficient, and at times I loathe the ground upon which she walks.
I hear you ask, “But how have you come to depise this tall, lanky, Midwestern girl who’s always been pretty good about staying out of your way?” Well, I’ve got two reasons.
1. First thing when she arrives, she sits herself down at the office manager’s desk, and for an hour they gab about kids and recipes and vacations to Florida and relatives and…well, you get the drift. It’d be fine, I guess, except the acoustics in this office absolutely suck, so even though I’m a good 10 or 20 yards away (I was never very good at football and can’t guess distances to save my life), I get to hear every single banal word of their conversation. I could close my door, but I figure prattle outweighs suffocation any day. Wine, whine, whine. Poor me.
2. I may find it in my heart to excuse high-decibel banter, but there is one thing for which I will never forgive our perky little accountant: she has taken it upon herself to include me on the CC (not BCC, mind you) list for all of her Christian email, most of which has been forwarded to her from other Amy Grant fans. (My sales rep at Apple–Apple, of all places–has taken to doing the same thing.) So 2 out of 3 mornings, I can expect to open my inbox and find therein a story about some carpenter and a couple of fish and someone’s good works and blah blah blah. I wanna nudge her into a corner and tell her, “Honey, I was raised a Southern Baptist. If you think I haven’t heard every single solitary Hallmark-sappy, Paul Harvey-style sob story, you would be sadly, sadly mistaken. So, yo, bakdafukup.” Of course, she’s pretty tall, and I think she plays a lot of sports. She might be able to take me out with very little effort. Maybe I’ll just bite my tongue.
P.S. I have officially given up on Tombraider: The Last Revelation, which Jonno gave me for x-mas (no more “Christ” in this missive). I made relatively short work of the first 5/6 of the game, but then I encountered a glitch which I’ve not been able to get around–even with many reluctant glances through the Eidos online help center. I guess I’ll just wait for the movie.
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