I can’t help but cringe when I hear the words “gay lifestyle.” The term “lifestyle” implies a sort of trendy social movement comprised of individuals blessed with a significant degree of free will: Californians living the surfing lifestyle, for example, choose to surf morning, noon, and night, but many grow out of it as they get older. Same goes for hippies, junkies, and even Presbyterians.
It’s a little offensive to hear cocksucking described in this manner–like it’s a trend or a phase. I mean, despite all the hoopla surrounding ex-gay movements, I’ve never met a fudgepacker who’s just gradually stopped, er, packing fudge.
Of course, I’m still not sure exactly what “gay lifestyle” implies, but if I let my imagination run wild, the phrase does bring to mind several frightening images: a completely gay shopping mall, where the background Musak is nothing but Madonna, Mariah, and show tunes; a special pride issue of Martha Stewart Living, featuring Pottery Barn porch swings festooned with rainbow-colored ribbons; and a man-made island about the size of Nantucket located 15 miles off the northern coast of Morocco with an all-gay government, a booming haircare industry, and an annual island-wide holiday commemorating Joan Crawford’s birthday.
Interestingly enough, however, I’m much less resistant to the idea of an Internet lifestyle. Pass the DSL, please…
sturtle [dot] com 