Blech…ack…phew…sniffle…yack. I hate being sick.
Of course, no one really enjoys being sick. Some people hate feeling bad; others feel a sense of obligation to their job and that they’re somehow letting everyone in the office down by missing a day of work.
But that’s not me.
No, I hate being sick because daytime TV sucks ass–not just any ass, mind you, but primadonna informercial Susan Lucci-style ass. Yeah, Sesame Street‘s okay, and I can kinda stomach Zoom (though not as well as when I was a kid), but the bulk of daytime TV is made up of soaps, talk shows, and courtroom crap. And frankly, I’d rather suffer through simultaneous bouts of malaria, dropsy, and rubella than sit through five minutes of Jenny Jones. You think I’m joking…
I’ve always been like this. As a kid, I used to lie to my mother when I was sick just so I could go to school and hang with my friends–anything to avoid crappy reruns of Hodgepodge Lodge and Vegetable Soup. I’d be racked with chills, running a fever of 103, but I’d down some Tylenol and pretend nothing was wrong, then hop off to class.
In my previous life, I must’ve been Typhoid Mary…. Now I’m just Mary.
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