I was always fastidious as a child. My room was kept painfully neat and ordered–so much so that my friends used to delight in shifting around my bibelots ever-so-slightly just so they could watch me scurry around and straighten them again.
As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve found my anal-retentive tendencies slipping away like so much yak butter on a hot Mongolian day. Little mini-holidays like this when I have a few days to myself are practically the only time the old me can shine through. Not surprisingly, today I’ve decided to tidy up my computer a bit.
During this sort-and-vet process, I’ve come across some old things I’d completely forgotten, including this lovely meditation on Circuit fags. Even if you’ve read it before (and I’m sure you have, dearie), why not sing along just for fun. Humor me for chrissake….
The Gay Circuit Scene
(to the tune of “My Favorite Things”)Bullets and bumpers and yellow sunglasses,
Barbacks and doormen with tight little asses,
Tattoos and Levis on e-ver-y queen,
These are all part of the Gay Circuit Scene.
Dealers and bouncers and homely fag haggies,
Uppers and downers in clear plastic baggies,
Hots shorts and cock rings and all things obscene,
These are all part of the Gay Circuit Scene….
Glo-sticks and Blow Pops and loud metal whistles,
Tearing your cheek on unshaven back bristles,
K-holes and O.D.s becoming routine,
These are all part of the Gay Circuit Scene.
Refrain: When my week bites, when my job sucks,
When my life is sad,
I simply retreat to the Gay Circuit Scene
and then I don’t feel…much of anything.
Miss Morabito and Victor and Abel,
Junior who spins like my dead gramma Mabel,
Tic-Tacs and Tina to make you so lean,
These are all part of the Gay Circuit Scene.
Cher and Madonna and Cher and Madonna
Cher and Madonna and Cher and Madonna
Cher and Madonna, you know what I mean,
They are all part of the Gay Circuit Scene.
Tickets and lines and the ex-boyfriend wanker,
Curse her, berate her, then pay her and thank her.
My wallet is empty of all that is green,
This is just part of the Gay Circuit Scene.
Refrain: When the gym’s closed, after hours,
And I’m going mad,
I simply retreat to the Gay Circuit Scene and then I don’t feel…what did you ask me again?
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