Amended excerpt from an email to one of you, re: “naming your gay lover”:
The question of what to call one another has perplexed both Jonno and me. “Lover” is way too faggoty, as is “husband” and the never-to-be-pronounced-aloud “husbear.” “Boyfriend” seems too non-committal, and “significant other” makes him sound like a tumor. I like the concept behind “spouse,” but the word’s not quite Germanic enough for me–I want at least one hard consonant. Call me old fashioned, but I do.
Linguistically stranded thus, in polite conversation I usually refer to Jonno as my “partner.” Occasionally, though, people don’t quite get the implications–it sounds
like a business relationship, no?–so I explain that he’s my “fudgepacking buttlover,” which usually sets things straight. Or gay. Or something.
sturtle [dot] com 