Recent Experiments
Mixing absinthe and root beer
Sober before? Yes
Sober after? Yes (sadly)
Inspiration: Ran out of bourbon, vodka, Tab, Fresca; not up for beer
Dork rating [1 to 5]: 4 — Only dorks regularly stock absinthe and Tab
Idiot rating [1 to 5]: 2 — Frankly, it still seems like a reasonable drink
Success rating [1 to 5]: 2.5 — I’m alive, but the aftertaste, she lingers
Lesson learned: Drink anisettes straight; root beer is a crappy mixer
Substituting pork rinds for croutons on my salad
Sober before? Yes
Sober after? Yes, but drunk on deliciousness
Inspiration: Hunger; boyfriend unwilling to venture to grocery store
Dork rating [1 to 5]: 2 — I guess it did look a bit silly
Idiot rating [1 to 5]: 1 — More pork on a salad? What’s dumb about that?
Success rating [1 to 5]: 5 — After I call Wendy’s tomorrow, I’m gonna be rich! Rich, I tell ya!
Lesson learned: a Southern upbringing has its rewards
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