Hey, Democrats:
Forget about it.
Please, please, please, just forget about it. Knock it off. Throw in the towel.
Yes, I know he isn’t quite what you were hoping for. And I agree, she’s kinda creepy. But let it go. It’s a lost cause.
Americans have already fallen for his boyish charm, his cherubic smile, and his ADD-addled son. Pundits across the political spectrum have noted his remarkably uncontroversial record, his fair-mindedness, his demonstrated willingness to respect the law above ideology. I mean, hell, given the extremist tendencies of this particular administration, Roberts is about as middle-of-the-road as you could’ve hoped for. He’s the political equivalent of Midwestern gumbo: probably substantial, but very, very bland.
So cut it out already. Sure, you can ask a couple of good questions during the confirmation hearings. And by all means, look into his tax records. See if he’s hired an illegal immigrant as a maid or a gardener or something–that’s brought down more than a few otherwise respectable folks in the past. Just don’t drag it out. Don’t look like obstructionist sticks in the mud. And above all, don’t put his wife on trial.
Move through this as quickly as possible, and you’ll come out smelling like roses. Then you can get back to persecuting that obese, blondined, vaguely pedophilic youth minister otherwise known as Karl Rove. When it comes to placing eggs, ladies and gentlemen, that’s the basket in which to put them.
Capisce?
Sincerely,
Sturtle for the Democratic Way
sturtle [dot] com 