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Places Mayor C. Ray Nagin may be hiding

Likely:

• In Chicago, writing speeches for Obama’s erstwhile pastor.
• In Cuba, because he needs his annual physical, and his local doctor can’t see him for another six months.
• At Chris Rose’s house, because that’s where the crazies live.
• At the Broadway South offices, because he’s sure to run into absolutely no one.

Less likely:

• At Home Depot, because he’s gotta make sure his sons do the [questionably legitimate] job right.
• In a squad car, because real police officers surely wouldn’t make blunders like that.

Hopefully:

• Resting upon the fragrant bosom of a hooker/actress/songwriter.
• Pinned beneath a burning 1979 Ford Pinto on top of an abandoned petroleum tank hundreds of miles from where anyone can hear him scream (or 300 yards from the nearest fire hydrant).