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I’ve spent the last 15 minutes staring at this sentence. But why?

A teenage couple was shot Friday night while the pair was apparently enjoying each other’s company in the backyard of what appears to be the home of the boyfriend’s parents, police said…. (nola.com)

Is it the weirdly tentative tone of the sentence, with its “apparently” and “appears to be”? Is it the weirdly suggestive tone of the sentence, with its “enjoying each other’s company”? Or is it just the clunky, stilted grammar? WHY CAN’T I MOVE ON?

FYI, the violent crime associated with the event is not what’s giving me pause. (Hello: New Orleans? Most Dangerous City in the US?) For those who don’t want to click through to read the whole piece, the kids are fine.

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