This is a letter from the future you. Your name is Justin now -don’t ask, but if you think of a better one feel free to jump on it. Maybe something like “Beverage”. Everyone likes a Beverage and you know how much you enjoy alliteration. Beverage Bond… well, it’s up to you. Just be glad you’re not some old fag named “Chip”!
I was thinking that since we’ve been given this to opportunity to communicate through time I should maybe give you some helpful tips:
First, do me a favor, stay out of the sun. You don’t like the sun anyway so just skip it. All those bitches that keep saying you’re so pale and that you look like a spook are going to end up looking like wrinkled brown paper bags and will probably have lots of chunks missing from their skin -I say fuck ’em. Stick to the shade or stay inside and listen to music, dance around naked and feel free to jack off as much as you like….