Brazilian jujitsu doesn’t just look like gay sex, it feels an awful lot like it too. Sam starts on his back with his knees up. He instructs me to sit on his lap, so I straddle him. He tells me to sit right down, putting all my weight on him, so I do. I know right away that I’m going to be in trouble. He looks so sexy lying on the mat under me and I can’t stop thinking about the tiny amount of fabric separating us. The position is called “the mount” for a reason.