Lisa Vanella, formerly of World Wide Child Care and Children of America Incorporated, is suing former Karate champion Thadeus [sic] Pryor, alleging that her boss made a habit of exposing his genitals to her while twisting them into shapes that resembled farm animals and several mammals.Pryor purportedly called the mistreated woman a “Pig Whore,” telling her to “look at his dick” because she “turned him on,” on a regular basis….President and CEO of Child Care of America child-care chain, Pryor is a former multi-time Karate Champion. He is also purportedly the owner of very pliable genitalia, being able to fashion a goat, flying bat, and human brain using nothing but his penis and scrotum.
Of note: this is the only mention I can find of the lawsuit, which seems a little weird, given the sprawling, soul-crushing size of the interwebs. In other words: there may be no truth to this story — or at least the allegations of Ms. Vanella. For the time being, I’m treating it as hearsay, a half-step above creative nonfiction.
However: the thought of some guy making a goat from his junk was too amusing to pass up.