Since Megan Fox has been canned from Transformers 3: Electric Boogaloo, 99% of Hollywood starlets — real or imagined — are preparing to slob Michael Bay’s knob for the part of “The Girl Who Probably Won’t Die as Long as Shia LaBeouf Is Around”. And by “starlet”, I suppose I also mean Heidi Montag, because her audition tape is CLEARLY starlet quality.