The End Is Nigh


Finally finally finally this global obsession with all things 80s may be over. Which is great because as much as I love Alison Moyet (May She Live Forever), I could really do without one more Millennial metaphorically digging through my high school closet and shouting, “Omigod, what were they thinking? I must wear it immediately!” They’ve already adopted leggings and Hammer pants*, so it is only a matter of time before Girbaud jeans make a full-on comeback, in which case, may goddess have mercy on our souls.

I say that the end is nigh because I have heard that Jennifer Saunders is writing a musical about the Spice Girls. And if you throw in an internet boom, a lot of heroin, and a housing bubble, that’s pretty much all you need for a time capsule explanation of the 1990s that even aliens from the galaxy of Gaahhrglepleghghx could understand and say, “Oh. Crushed velvet. I get it.”

These are exciting times we (re)live in.

* I can say with all honesty that I never, ever, ever wore Hammer pants.

6 thoughts on “The End Is Nigh

  1. Tyler

    It just occurred to me that you might think I was referring to Vitter. I wasn’t. But I am gonna start calling his diapers ‘Hammer pants’ from now on, I think.


  2. spazmodeas

    “I can say with all honesty that I never, ever, ever wore Hammer pants.”

    I notice you’re suspiciously quiet on the leggings.


  3. I have been seeing signs of a 90s revival all over the fucking place. There’s even a Doc Martens store in the Haight now. Must I be forced to murder everyone in their early 20s to stop this from happening??


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.