1. Atlas Shrugged And Said, “Ayn Rand Who?”
2. Brideshead Visited Once, But I Don’t Need To See It Again
3. The Call Of The Wild Hair Up My Backside
4. The Catcher In Rye Was Actually Pretty Versatile
5. Damn, That Portnoy Guy Is Such A Whiner
6. A Farewell To Arms And Legs And Part Of My Spleen
7. The French Lieutenant’s Woman’s Third Cousin, Twice Removed
8. Gravity’s Dense Fog Advisory
9. Half-Naked Lunch On The LGBT Cruise
10. The Heart Isn’t Too Lonely A Hunter Because It Has The Lungs For Company
11. Of Human Bondage And Discipline
12. To The Lighthouse, Jeeves
13. The Naked And The Dead Will Both Land You In Jail, If You’re Not Careful
14. A Passage To Indiana
15. A Portrait Of The Artist As A Starving Artist
16. The Postman Always Rings Twice While I’m In The Shower
17. A Prayer For Owen Wilson
18. A Room With A View Of The Parking Lot
19. Sons And Lovers Will Also Land You In Jail, If You’re Not Careful
20. Sophie’s Choice Words For That Snooty Waiter
21. The Sun Doesn’t Actually Rise, You Know
22. Tobacco Road Warning Labels Are Pretty Graphic In Canada
23. The Tropic Of Mesothelioma
24. The Verses That Some Thought Were Satanic But Were Really Just A Megadeth Album
25. Zen And The Art Of Taking Your Motorcycle To The Shop On A Sunday When None Of The Shops Are Open Anyway

* I know, I know. I’m having a BuzzFeed moment. It’ll pass.