Statements of fact:

1. This may be the worst painting I’ve ever seen. Or the best:

2. This may be the worst video I’ve ever seen. Or the best:

3. This is most definitely the best news I’ve had all day:

Three companies who run ads during Glenn Beck — NexisLexis-owned Lawyers.com, Proctor & Gamble and Progressive Insurance — today distanced themselves from Beck. LexisNexis has pulled its advertising from Beck and says it has no plans to advertise on the program in the future. Both Proctor & Gamble and Progressive Insurance called the Beck advertising placements an error that they would correct.

The decision by the three companies comes as over 45,000 ColorofChange.org members call on advertisers to pull their ads from Glenn Beck after the controversial news host called President Obama a “racist” who “has a deep-seated hatred for white people” on “Fox & Friends” last week.

“Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention,” said John Michaels, Senior Communications Manager at LexisNexis in an email to ColorOfChange.org. “We have suspended further advertising during Mr. Beck’s program.”

— MediaMatters.org

4. The fact that the genocide in Darfur continues is undeniably bad. The fact that people around the world (can) have a better understanding of it is undeniably good.

5. The fact that rape continues to be used in the service of terrorism in the Congo is bad. The fact that some men have been put through the same physical and emotional torture as hundreds of thousands of women is bad. The fact that someone is paying attention (now that men are the target of rapists, apparently), is…well, not good, but something just shy of good.

6. The fact that Sam — the koala that made me and many others happy back in February — has passed away, is very bad news, indeed.

Ordinarily, I give Weird Al a very wide berth. However, since he’s penned an ode to my personal gay patron saint…

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=5936810&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

Some won’t be into this. Some may find it offensive. But for others, this is like a big ol’ box of onion tams:

Duff Goldman, professional cakeboy

At least I think they’re sisters:

Just a quick shot to prove that (a) I’m still alive, and (b) so are the hounds — even though they’ve been under my sole supervision for nearly two weeks. Miraculous, I know.

Despite everything that’s going on to the left, my gaze keeps drifting to the right. Lord Gaga, I salute you.

The DoggieLoverDoll:

When a dog tries to hump legs, stuffed animals and other objects, he cannot reach an ejaculation. With the DoggieLoverDoll he can. Human beings have their hands to masturbate themselves, now the domestic animals, which have practically no contact with females in heat, can alleviate themselves with a toy designed specifically for them.

Added bonus: its silicone vagina contains an “easy to clean reservoir”.

[via BoingBoing]

Question: What sort of person leaves her dog — a large and thick-haired one at that — in the back seat of a Pontiac Vibe on a sunny August afternoon in New Orleans while she roams the aisles of an over-air-conditioned Office Depot?

A) Leona Helmsley
B) Cruella DeVille
C) Paris Hilton
D) Michael Vick’s mother
E) A veterinary acupuncturist

Personally I’d lean toward “C”, but I’m awful at these things.