Dear Zack Hudson:

What is it with you? Do you think local politics have gotten too blasé? Are you upset that Louisiana’s getting upstaged by Blagojewhatsisname and Larry Craig and Ted Stevens and the like? What, you don’t think David Vitter and Dollar Bill Jefferson generate enough raised eyebrows? Not satisfied with the sedate, curiously rational, less-dickish-than-you’d-think Bobby Jindal? You had to launch a campaign to draft XXX starlet Stormy Daniels for the U.S. senate?

I mean, sure, there’s room for humor in politics, and yes, we can certainly take a joke here in Louisiana. However, we can also take things very seriously when we want to, and let me tell you: David Vitter is no laughing matter. Not only has he caught a big ol’ case of Grade A Stupid, but he’s bound and determined to infect others. Frankly, after eight years of dumbass in the Oval Office, none of us are in the mood for it. Brains, please. Now.

Listen, you wanna do some good? Get out there and recruit someone else to get in the ring. How’s about John Breaux? He may not fuel your loins the way Ms. Daniels does, but maybe you should try thinking with your other head for a while. That alone is more than Vitter can do.

[thanks, Tyler]

No one bothered to tell me that Blossom Dearie died. I was hoping to find a video of her doing “My Heart Belongs to Daddy” or the Rhode Island song or something a little more conventional, but this one should bring back memories for a few folks.

Dear Oklahoma:

You know I think the world of you, even though I don’t visit as often as I should. You know I love you, even though you’re as batty as Barry Bonds on a steroid binge. But listen: we are about to have some kind of intervention/Come To Jeebus Moment regarding you and your elected officials. About ten minutes ago, I got this notice from a pal of mine; apparently, one of your own is doing some tinkering with Obama’s stimulus package:

The U.S. Senate has voted to accept, by a vote of 73-24, an amendment offered by Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) which states, “None of the amounts appropriated or otherwise made available by this Act may be used for any casino or other gambling establishment, aquarium, zoo, golf course, swimming pool, stadium, community park, museum, theater, art center, and highway beautification project.”

This amendment, which was supposedly intended to restrict objectionable spending in a few select federal infrastructure programs, will result in prohibiting any spending through the economic recovery in these
areas. This is the first clear vote on the arts that has occured in the U.S. Senate since July 12, 2000. The Senate final bill passage is still unclear, although it is expected to take place later tonight. Next week they will have a House-Senate conference committee to agree to a final version for the President to sign.

Seriously, Oklahoma, are you okay? Is there something you need to tell us? Is Kansas spiking your drinking water with peyote or fermented yak blood or whatever they drink up there? Does he beat you? Do we need to send help?

Here is a photo of Carlos “The Asshat” Mencia, which I pilfered from the BestOfNewOrleans blog:

He’s atrocious, right? A total douchebag? Perhaps a fucktard, even?

Well, you’ll be happy to know that the once and future rider in Orpheus has been officially uninvited. Doesn’t that make you feel good? Want to feel better? Press the “cornify” button just below him. Repeatedly.

Passover in New Orleans

Bags of trash at unapproved addresses were left on sidewalks and sprayed with an X to let SDT crews know not to collect them later. [NOLA.com]

Wow. I need a break from stupid people for a while. How about you? Maybe a little mindless eye-candy joy-joy to take your mind of the economy or the housing bubble or Phil from Accounts Receivable? Here:

Aussie diver Matthew Mitcham

I KNOW. But don’t thank me. Thank Andy.

There’s a lot of talk of bailouts and plans of action and Important Decisions To Be Made these days. And as controversial as a lot of those plans may be, at least America’s aren’t as dumb as one being put in place by monsieur le p’tit président, France’s Nicolas Sarkosy, aimed at helping the dying medium of print:

The French state will help provide free newspaper subscriptions to teenagers for their 18th birthdays, President Nicolas Sarkozy announced Friday. But the bigger gift is for France’s ailing print media….

One of Sarkozy’s solutions to help the industry is a pilot program that will give teenagers celebrating their 18th birthday a free, yearlong subscription to any general news daily of their choice. The publisher is to give the newspapers away, while the state pays for the deliveries.

That initiative appeared designed to assuage industry fears that young readers don’t share the same appetite for print media that their parents and grandparents have, denting current and future revenues.

“The habit of reading the press is learned very young,” Sarkozy said, while insisting that the aid would only buy time for publishers to adapt to the new media landscape….

–full article at AP, via BoingBoing

Because I’m sure that all of those 18-year-olds will renew their subscriptions when they become impoverished 19-year-old college students or unemployed minimum-wagers or underemployed newspaper editors. At least, I’m sure that’s what surveys of France’s young people have shown.

I mean, Sarkozy did do surveys, didn’t he?

I’ve been busier than usual lately.

It’s not my day job; things are pretty manageable there right now, almost slow. (Almost.) No, I’ve been preoccupied with other things–namely (a) prepping for Carnival, especially the Satyricon bal masque, and (b) a new blogging gig.

Luckily, much of the ball stuff is out of my hands at the moment. My biggest costume-related duty is done–building the frame for the headpiece/backpiece–and my capable friend Brian will finish the outfit himself. That leaves me to focus on table decorations and simpler, smaller things. Oh: and the ball program. Since I’m the only one in my krewe who’s even heard of InDesign, the program falls in my lap every year. It wouldn’t be so bad if the queens sending me ads understood the difference between 72dpi and 300dpi and also what I mean by jargony phrases like, “I CANNOT USE THIS DOCUMENT YOU CREATED IN WORD/WORD PERFECT/MICROSOFT PUBLISHER. IT IS CRAP. TRY AGAIN.”

The blogging thing is far more time-consuming. I’m writing for a niche site, which sounds like it’d be limited in scope, but it’s a niche that I don’t know much about, so the learning curve has been steep. The industry is enormous, and I spend a lot of time reading just to familiarize myself with things. (I’ve got 40 news feeds in the folder of my RSS reader, some of which are massive info dumps like CNN. The flow never ends.) When I finally get around to writing my allotted four or five posts a day, it’s slow going. I’m constantly checking my facts, and when I’m in a hurry and don’t have time to check, I’ll leave things intentionally vague. Neither is especially good.

Part of the reason my friend hired me for the gig is because he wants to perk up the site’s content; he knows I worked for Gawker, so I can do short, snarky, and pithy. Only problem is, sometimes an item doesn’t lend itself to short, snarky, and pithy. Sometimes and item demands extensive examination. Like, you know, news. Which leaves me screwed.

All that said, I’m really enjoying the gig. I’m remembering a lot of stuff from childhood (when I was more engaged in the subject), I’m learning a lot about the industry, and I think I’m becoming a better writer in the process. And it feels like the tone of the site is changing, too, which is hopefully boosting traffic. I don’t have access to stats, but that’s how it seems. Best of all, my friend is very easy to work for, so the only stress involved is the stress I bring on myself. Once I learn to deal with that, I’ll be hunky-dory. Another couple of weeks, and I’ll be fine. (Assuming I don’t wipe out during the Satyricon ball. Then all bets are off.)

Anyway, here’s the point of all this: as I was walking home for lunch yesterday (yes, I go home for lunch, welcome to Mayberry), I noticed that fall has finally come to New Orleans. And only three months behind schedule–yay, global warming. The leaves on the crepe myrtles and the flowering pear trees have finally changed color and fallen into the gutter, along with the dirt and the glitter and shattered Mardi Gras beads.

And I realized that I’ve been so busy, I haven’t been paying attention to anything–or anyone for that matter. If you’re one of those “anyones” (or “anythings”), I apologize. Now that life’s looking up, I’ll try to do better.

So in honor of the fall that’s finally arrived–just in time for spring, which should begin next week sometime–here’s some appropriately fall-ish, introspective, gray-day music. I’m not sold on the low-rent Powerpuff Girls video, but I could listen to Shara Worden’s voice all day long.

Holy crap, this is awesome: over on BoingBoing, they’re having a debate about the merits and shortcomings of various king cakes. There aren’t that many comments yet, but what’s there is as spirited as anything you’d hear flying out of my neighbors’ mouths.

Can I just say? The people who inhabit the comments section at NOLA.com are clearly the dumbest people on the planet. I don’t always find their remarks offensive, but their stupidity is a slap in the face.