MUCH BETTER

Ellen does in :27 what the other spot couldn’t do in :55.

Well played, Gays. Keep it up!

In other news, is anyone else slightly annoyed/embarrassed/underwhelmed by this headline: “Hogs to be Audubon Zoo’s first new exhibit since Katrina”?

Hello, Gays:

Can we talk for a second? It’s about Proposition 8.

Now, I live, like, a bajillion miles from California, and I know there’s, like, a one-in-a-bajillion chance that Louisiana will ever willingly allow gaymarriage. (It’ll take the intervention of the National Guard for that. Assuming they ever come back from Iraq.) But obviously, I’m 100% against Prop 8. Defeating it is important to everyone–gay and straight–and will bring America one step closer to the inevitable passage of nationwide legal rights for GLBT couples.

However, I have to say, I’m kinda on the fence about this:

I mean, yes, everyone needs to work really hard to defeat the amendment, and yes, viral videos are a cheap and easy way to spread the word, but I dunno… This particular spot feels a little underwhelming.

Commercials are not lectures: they have to make a visceral connection with viewers. But apart from the (overworked) Mac/PC gag, I don’t remember anything about this piece. The actors spout a lot of facts, but where’s the emotional appeal? I’m not asking for an hysterical Sally Struthers, “Please think of the children” pitch, but this feels really flat–almost like a waste of time. Or like you could’ve spent your time in a better way.

I don’t have any commercials of my own to add, so I guess I don’t have any right to bitch. But I have a sneaking suspicion that this isn’t going to tip the odds in our favor. If it’s true, as Susan Sontag said, that “[h]omosexuals have pinned their integration into society on promoting the aesthetic sense”, we lost an opportunity to leverage our aesthetic sensibilities for political gain. And if our over-zealous brethren keep beating up Prop 8 proponents, we’re going to need a LOT of those opportunities in the next few weeks.

Sorry to harsh your buzz, and thanks for your consideration.

xoxo/Richard

THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE

1. A film about babies, playing in a field full of kittens, all of whom are zombies. (The babies and the kittens.) This film does not yet exist, but the thought of making it is amusing.

2. Bunny rabbits–specifically, giant knitted bunny rabbits seen from an airplane:

3. Dave’s post from yesterday, which included this line:

…suddenly John McCain’s face appears on the TV screen and my patient lets out this exasperated sigh and says, “Oh lord, what is that she-male going on about now?”

4. This hot, sexy, totally informative interview with Hunky McBoytoy, aka Sean Avery, who’s just relocated to Dallas. I’m not planning to go to any hockey games (um, ew), but it makes the stalking commute much easier:

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/player.swf?mediaId=3632996

5. Artificial foreskin:

6. The vaguely outrageous, thoroughly offensive, undeniably awesome-looking videogame Bonetown, which is essentially an interactive porn film. Sadly, it looks to be 100% hetero, but surely one of you lovely coders can build a patch or something, right? Anyway, here’s the trailer, and below it, a screenshot from the demo version. Note: IF YOU ARE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO THINK THAT THE TRAILER FOR A PORNO/VIDEO GAME IS NOT LOUD AND OBSCENE, YOU ARE VERY FOOLISH. Sensitive bunnies would be wise to stay out of Mr. McGregor’s garden. You have been warned:

I am not a music snob. However: I am concerned about the rise of Katy Perry. Here is why:

For one, her voice is pretty crappy.

For two, her follow-up single bites.

For three, she put out an album of Christian music a couple of years before she and her formidable publicity machine conquered the hearts of Teenage America. Which is kind of weak in an Amy Grant, omigod I totally wanna be a pop star but I can’t break in so I guess I’ll sing about god and go on a diet, oh look I made the cover of People, see ya god sort of way.

Also: there are FORMAL HOTPANTS involved.

Now for the record, I could not possibly care less whether her lyrics or her mother are homophobic. (In fact, many of The Gays adore her.) And I am 100% in lust with the bass line for “I Kissed a Girl”–it’s magnificent and far ahead of its time. And I suppose every generation needs its Martika.

But honestly people, the line has to be drawn somewhere–and fast. The financial markets are crashing, half the world is at war, and my cafe au lait with soy has just reached room temperature: what more proof do you need that these are the End Times and Katy Perry is the Half-Naked Horselady of the Apocalypse? Please think of the children. Depose her now.

While you folks dig up the Chosen One, I’m going to sit here and refresh my eardrums by sorting through the cool kids’ playlist.*

* Michael Kors not included. Srsly.

I adore my mother.

Let me clarify: I adore both my mothers. But I have to say, my adoptive mom–the one who raised me–she was very sweet and loving and kind, but she was also very much a product of her time and place. Which is to say that like many Mississippi women of the 60s/70s, she played the role of dutiful wife and mother to a tee. Sure she could be feisty at times, and in her own way, I guess she gave society the finger, but she was awfully quiet about it.

My biological mother? Not so much:

Callie isn’t especially happy with that photo, and I admit that it doesn’t do her justice, but that’s almost beside the point. To me, a shot of Callie preparing to read Ginsberg’s “Howl” in honor of Banned Books Week kinda sums her up: behind the podium and the cardigan and the librarian accouterments lies a woman who should be taken VERY SERIOUSLY.

Completely Unrelated To Anything

I’m kinda in love with this video:

RJD2’s “Work It Out” [download here], directed by Joey Garfield

Maybe because it reminds me of this video, which would look pretty awesome if YouTube had properly converted it:

Kylie Minogue’s “Come Into My World” [download here]

But mostly because that took some balls, yo. Plus, it’s hot. And the guy is totes adorbs.

P.S. Though gay, I don’t normally make a habit of going on about Kylie Minogue videos. Nothing against her–she’s a right-on sister, a cancer survivor. I just don’t, that’s all.

So, DIE! MOMMY! DIE! is a curious thing.

The show’s going really well–in fact, the cast and crew have done an outstanding job. It’s funny and outrageous and pretty to look at, and hopefully it reminds everyone that our actors can really act. I couldn’t be happier. None of us could.

Except maybe where attendance is concerned.

Now, don’t get me wrong: audiences have been good–at least as good as A Place in the Sun, if not marginally better. I was a bit worried about that, thanks to the nation’s economic climate and the fact that New Orleanians still seem jangled from certain Meteorological Events. Thankfully, that hasn’t been the case.

However, we’re having to beat the bushes a little to drum up business. Since there’s a movie of the play–a movie that has a small cult following–I was secretly hoping for sell-out run on par with our production of Sordid Lives. Hell, if anything, this show ought to do better: DIE! MOMMY! DIE! is a brilliant parody of an entire cinematic genre, while Sordid Lives…well, to call it clunky would be generous. Admittedly, the movie of Sordid Lives is an improvement on the play, while the film of DIE! MOMMY! DIE! is not. But still: I was hoping to see some hot, Tokyo subway crowdedness in Le Chat’s waiting area.

Which is why I cobbled together a trailer:

See, people? It’s funny. It has men in dresses and snappy, Bette Davis-esque dialogue. There are hilarious low-tech effects, a live-on-stage acid trip, and the World’s Largest Suppository in Captivity. And there’s no fake blood, so don’t be afraid to sit on the front row. Only two more weekends, so get moving!

LOVE/HATE

LOVE: Pretty photos of Lebanon.

HATE: The fact that I’ve never been to Lebanon. And that my biological father doesn’t seem inclined to take me to the home country for a visit with the relatives–at least not anytime soon.

LOVE: This series of curiously poofy cartoons that may or may not have anything to do with the gay life of Sherlock Holmes.

HATE: This British priest who’d be positively delighted if Olde Ladie Englande lost consciousness, fell in a ditch, and woke up with amnesia, so he could reinstate laws to prevent Sodomites from sodomizing willy nilly. Such as:

Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan SODOMY CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH and their chins with FELLATIO KILLS.

LOVE: This video bit between Karl Lagerfeld and Tom Ford and the fact that it may be magnificent or possibly horrible. I can’t tell.

HATE: The fact that Mr. Ford has never sent me one of his impeccable suits. Ever. Hint.

LOVE: The fact that Americans seem grown-up enough to have grown-up discussions about polyamorous relationships.

HATE: The fact that economic crisis (usually) = a surge in fiscal and social conservativism = moot discussions about polyamorous relationships.

LOVE: Finding poems that are short and to the point. Also: beautiful.

HATE: Most poetry.

LOVE: Superheroes who are super and also nude.

HATE: Fully clothed persons, super or not.

LOVE: The curious and poignant coincidences of the free market system.

HATE: That I am too tired to hate much more today. But I love that there is tomorrow.

ANOTHER REASON NOT TO HATE TO LOVE BRAD PITT

More good news for New Orleans: cosmetics powerhouse Kiehl’s has apparently formed a partnership with Brad Pitt called JPF Eco Systems (which is not the most memorable or descriptive of names, but Brad isn’t in the habit of calling me up at 3:00 in the morning and running these sorts of things by me). The way the partnership seems to work is that Kiehl’s identifies a product–say, a new one that needs promoting–and then dedicates 100% of that item’s profits to a charity of Pitt’s choice.

The first product in the batter’s box is Kiehl’s “Aloe Vera” Biodegradable Liquid Body Cleanser, and proceeds will benefit–you guessed it–Pitt’s Make It Right foundation, which, as we should all know by now, supports sustainable housing initiatives in New Orleans.

I’m still not sure why the partnership needs a name itself–unless “JPF” stands for “Jolie-Pitt Foundation”, and Angelina wanted her name in there somewhere, goddammit. Frankly, I think it confuses things. Also confusing: the use of scare quotes around “Aloe Vera”. Is there aloe in that bottle or not? Or did Kiehl’s just use quotation marks when they really meant to underline? Was there no English major in the room when they sent the labels to press? And on a related note: why haven’t I seen any mention if this in the local media–apart from the fact that I don’t read?

Of course, I’d be happy to drop all those contentions if only Brad and/or Angelina would come to my house to show me how to use the stuff.