If you’ve glanced at my bio page, you may have noticed the origins of this blog’s name:

As for the name sturtle, it comes from a saying/read that was popularized by my friend Zod: “You’re so nelly, you put an ‘s’ in ‘turtle’.” Of course, the only way to carry out such a grammatic endeavor without sounding like you’re from Upper Slovenia is to put the “s” at the beginning of the word: ergo, “sturtle”. I know, it doesn’t sound particularly funny, but when pronounced with over-the-top sibilance a la Charles Nelson Reilly (sssssssssturtle!), it’s pretty freakin’ amusing.

So basically, I thought “sturtle” was a made-up word, nonsensical. But I was wrong. (Not for the first time.) On the Isle of Wight, “sturtle” apparently means “to frighten”. Which amuses and pleases me, although I am not nearly as frightening as I would like. Have a listen:

But really, I don’t care about all that. I just want to peek in people’s windows.

[via TechCrunch]

Yes, the Hall and Oates song, but as lip-synched by high schoolers who weren’t even eye-twinkles when the song debuted. And filmed BACKWARDS. And therefore, lip-synched BACKWARDS. My high school was not this awesome.

 [via Towleroad]

People in sunny, outdoorsy states — Louisiana, Hawaii, Florida — say they’re the happiest Americans, and researchers think they know why. 

A new study comparing self-described pleasant feelings with objective measures of good living found these folks generally have reason to feel fine. 

The places where people are most likely to report happiness also tend to rate high on studies comparing things like climate, crime rates, air quality and schools. 

The happiness ratings were based on a survey of 1.3 million people across the country by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It used data collected over four years that included a question asking people how satisfied they are with their lives….

Ranking No. 1 in happiness was Louisiana, home of Dixieland music and Cajun/Creole cooking.

[Economist Andrew J. Oswald] urged a bit of caution in that ranking, however, noting that part of the happiness survey occurred before Hurricane Katrina struck the state, and part of it took place later. Nevertheless, he said, “We have no explicit reason to think there is a problem” with the ranking.

Rounding out the happy five were Hawaii, Florida, Tennessee and Arizona.

At the other end of the scale, last in happiness — is New York state.

[full story at NOLA.com]

Anyone who’s ever mimicked the French or the Germans or the Italians or any other foreign-speaking folk knows there are certain sounds that characterize other languages. So, for example, you may not be able to understand Italian, but you certainly have a feel for its cadence and the clusters of consonants and vowels that typify it. (And, if you’re Peter Griffin, you can try your hand at faking it.)

I’ve often wondered how English — specifically American English — sounds to others around the world. Over the years, I’ve asked some of my foreign friends, but none have been able to explain it to me. Adriano Celentano, however, manages pretty well, in this song of utter gibberish:

PIERRE, S.D. — A former South Dakota lawmaker convicted of raping his two foster daughters has sent news organizations what he claims is a copyright notice that seeks to prevent the use of his name without his consent.

A letter and an accompanying document labeled “Common Law Copyright Notice” said former state Rep. Ted Alvin Klaudt is reserving a common-law copyright of a trade name or trademark for his name. It said no one can use his name without his consent, and anyone who does would owe him $500,000.

Klaudt was convicted in 2007 on four counts of second-degree rape for touching his teenage foster daughters’ breasts and genitals in phony examinations he saidcould help them sell their eggs to infertile couples. He was sentenced to 44 years in prison for rape and 10 more years after pleading guilty to two counts of witness tampering.

The notice, received by The Associated Press and several other news organizations Monday, carried a return address that matched that of the state prison in Springfield, where Klaudt is being held.

[full story via the AP]

It is hilarious and disconcerting when lawmakers — former and otherwise — ignore pesky details of the law. For example: the wee tidbit that prevents people from copyrighting a name.

And so, because I have always been a smartass: Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt,  Ted Alvin Klaudt, infinity.

Bring it, Teddy boy.