It is a rule of etiquette in the South to refer to certain persons as “Mister/Miss + His/Her First Name.” For example, if I were addressing Leah Chase, famed proprietor of Dooky Chase Restaurant, I might call her “Miss Leah.” It’s a practice more commonly used for women, though I couldn’t say why.
I think it’s great to use a semi-formal term of address like that. It’s a simple, genteel way of showing respect to someone while maintaining the intimacy associated with first-name-basis relationships. Of course, maybe my affinity for the formality has something to do with my upbringing: as a child, if I didn’t respond to an adult with “m’am” or “sir” my daddy would have knocked me into the middle of next week. (In fact, he probably still would.) And if I’d even thought of calling an adult by first name, there’s no telling what would have happened.
Only thing is, this form of address is typically reserved for use with people of color to whom one is obligated to show respect because of their age. The implication is that “Miss Chase” would be too formal, too respectful to be used with a person of color. So by saying “Miss Leah” (and she is, fyi, a woman of color–Creole, to be specific), the subtext goes something like, “I could call you Miss Chase, but since you’re a person of color, I’m not gonna go quite that far. I’ll show you some respect, but not as much as I would a white woman of your same age.”
Of course, that’s pretty fucking lousy. What do you do with a custom that’s so charming and despicable?
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