Tila Tequila has apparently suffered a final, Anne Heche-y meltdown, but as of press time, we’re unsure what caused it. Booze? Dope? Chronic munchkin celebutardery? We might assume that the stress of losing her fiancee, Casey Johnson, had something to do with these events, except it turns out Casey Johnson was never her fiancee, and in fact, the whole engagement was likely a publicity stunt conceived by Girls Gone Wild “mastermind” Joe Francis. So, um, yeah.
All we know for certain is that something inside America’s least favorite mini-me-me-me famewhore has snapped, because now girlfriend thinks she’s a prophet — which is, I suppose, an improvement, because at least she now has a real job.
At any rate, let the part about me not shitting you begin:
“This is the end of the end. Don’t take your lives for granted because it will all end very soon. Sooner than u think. Everything you do now is totally irrelevant to what is to come. I am only here to warn you as God’s Messenger and Angel disguised as A Human God Bless and pray. Pray for all the wrongs you have done to others, pray for all the hurt you have bestowed. Judgement day is coming… God took the Love of my Life away from me because I promised him that I was only here to do my job. But I fell in Love with Another Angel So he took her away from me. That was my fault. I broke the rules of being an Angel on Earth as a messenger. We’re not allowed 2 fall in luv With another Angel. Cuz it will distract me from doing my job of helping the world. The minute I fell in love with another Angel, I stopped.”
This may explain why her publicist quit yesterday. May.