Some Cheetos are content to sit in their Mylar sacks, waiting to be devoured by the ravenous offspring of militant vegans and by secretaries who suspect (but have no proof) that their co-workers have nominated them for an upcoming season of The Biggest Loser.

Joe was not such a Cheeto. Joe had dreams.

While his friends were off in a crumb-filled corner, passively awaiting their destiny, Joe filled out a membership application to the United Association of Plumbers and Pipefitters. Would he get in? Would his friends accept his life choice? How the hell would he mail the letter? Who could say? Joe only knew that he had to try.