The Nicest Woman In America Could’ve Been Bad


I don’t remember where I got this — somewhere on Twitter, maybe Choire (actually, definitely Choire) — but I love it. Even though I never really loved Lucy.

“I’d love to do it, Andy, I really would, but you must understand that for all those people out there I’m still Ethel Mertz, Lucy’s next-door neighbor and the nicest woman in America, and that’s why I can still go into any dinner theater in the country and get paid $20,000 a week, because all my nice fans in their mink stoles want to see Ethel Mertz be nice. I hate being nice and I hate my fans and I hate their mink stoles. But I love making $20,000 a week anytime I want.”

— actress Vivian Vance to Andy Warhol and Bob Colacello over dinner at La Caravelle in New York in 1976, on why she couldn’t star in Warhol’s movie Bad. (Warhol Stars via World of Wonder)

I know. Could you imagine?

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