Things That Taylor Lautner Might Be Discussing With Gus Van Sant & Dustin Lance Black


Last week, tweets were flying over a not-so-clandestine meet-up between director Gus Van Sant, screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, and actor Taylor Lautner. Since the three were spotted leaving an LA eatery on Wednesday night, there’s been plenty of rumor and speculation about what the three might’ve been up to (apart from not eating).

If the gossip mongers had just asked me, though, I would’ve been happy to tell them. By which I mean, offer some guesses about the topic of discussion:

1. A sequel to My Own Private Idaho. (Working title: My Own Gated Community in Southwestern Boise.) Katherine Keener and Patricia Clarkson play MILFs fighting for control of the neighborhood association. Lautner teaches them heartfelt lessons about life, love, and the perfect pot brownie. Then he kills them.

2. The inevitable Sad Keanu movie, in which Lautner would serve as stunt-double.

3. Robert Pattinson: is he really as nice as people say?

4. Who’s going to be mayor of Millions of Milkshakes?

5. Who’s got invites to Google+? And is it “Google+” or “Google Plus”?

6. How to kill skinny jeans once and for all without causing the return of Z. Cavariccis. (Yes, they’re still here.)

7. Amway.

Of course, it’s possible that Lautner has simply been drafted for the staged reading of Prop 8 transcripts that’s being put together by Mr. Black. Which would be fine, but far less interesting than Amway, IMHO.

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