Did A Nude Photo Of OJ Simpson Guarantee His Acquittal? [NSFW]

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Last week, I stumbled across a nude photo of OJ Simpson.

It was taken decades ago, back when he was still playing football and doing TV commercials and not stabbing people and trying on men’s accessories for juries of peers. (Sorry: allegedly stabbing people.)

I’d seen the nude shot before and wanted to use it for a post, but I wasn’t sure how to frame it. Could I have just uploaded the pic to Tumblr and gone to bed? Probably, but I wanted to make more of it. So naturally, I developed a half-baked theory.

The theory was this: people who pose nude stand a better chance of being acquitted.

Nice theory, right? Only I haven’t been able to prove it.

Sure, I dug up semi-nude shots of Robert Blake (acquitted of murdering his wife) and salacious stills of R. Kelly (acquitted of producing child porn), but not much else. The other famous acquitted folks I knew about were either too old (Lizzie Borden) or uptight (William Kennedy Smith) or, possibly, savvy (Duke’s lacrosse team) to have their naughty bits floating around the interweb. And IMHO, three images just weren’t enough to make a hypothesis stick.

Even worse than the lack of naked evidence was the fact that my theory had some major internal flaws. Case in point: porn legend John Holmes was filmed nude on hundreds of occasions, and yes, he was acquitted of murder, but latter-day adult film star Jack Venice wasn’t so fortunate when it came to rape charges.

In other words, it now appears that being photographed in the buff won’t actually guarantee an acquittal. Back to the drawing board.

Since I brought it up, though, here’s OJ nude. Is it possible to enjoy this without getting creeped out? You tell me:

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