I didn’t watch the Super Bowl. I peeked in for the halftime show, which was more than enough, frankly. (Was it just me, or was Madonna smiling and selling it like Shirley Temple on the Good Ship goddamn Lollipop?). Other than that, I sat in the back of the house, put my head down, and did some work.

So, obviously I missed this Chrysler ad, which landed in my inbox this morning, just as I was getting ready to hit the auto news feeds. And it’s a good thing, too. Because I can say without a doubt in my mind, THIS IS THE WORST COMMERCIAL I HAVE SEEN SINCE THE LAST SUPER BOWL AND POSSIBLY EVER. Holy fuck.

It’s offensive, patronizing, jingoistic, obvious, pandering, and worse, it looks like total crap. Even Rick Santorum wouldn’t run this bilge. I would like a full apology from Sergio Marchionne, Olivier Francois, and Chrysler’s board of directors for the 120 seconds they have stolen from my life. BY NOON, PLEASE.