Six hours ago, the Supreme Court of the United States gutted the Defense of Marriage Act, forcing the federal government to treat all legally married couples — gay or straight — the same way.

Shortly thereafter, the Court also struck down Proposition 8. Though they did so on technical grounds, ruling that the plaintiffs lacked standing to sue, the effect in California is the same as if the justices had found Prop 8 entirely unconstitutional.

For what it’s worth, that’s pretty much what I’d predicted. Perhaps my adoptive mother was right: I should’ve been a lawyer.

What I failed to predict was the speed at which marketers would begin filling my inbox with same-sex marriage stories and products. This is totally my favorite so far:

Gay Marriage Has Been Passed We Would Like to Help the Newcomers at Their Wedding

(June 26, 2013, Los Angeles, Calif.) – This morning gay marriage was legalized in California, the wedding business are going to see a great increase in weddings for the rest of the year. Although the great news may inspire people for equality, others are still against the proposition being passed.

To help our fellow friends in assuring a safe and pleasant wedding, guardNOW has already been named the “Gay Wedding” Private Security guard company by “Engayged Weddings.”

As a new security guard company we are assuring safety to all our California’s at their weddings. The press and the public will be interested in the many weddings that will be taking place starting next month in the gay community, security guards will be a tactic to use to keep unwanted guest and people against gay marriages out of the way. As the go to Security Guard Company we want you to help us inform the gay community that there is a national company catering to them specifically.

Gay marriages are not new to the country, but California is happy to finally be a part of the states that have passed the law. guardNOW services all of California and wants to reach out to as many newly engaged couples that are bow allowed to legally be married.

Our franchisee’s Nate Brown and Joe Luke service Northern and Southern California and are available for tips and insight on ways the gay community is going to need security help for their weddings. With there 15 years in law enforcement their tips to the public on wedding safety could help the newcomers.

Until the end of September guardNOW will be giving all newly engaged and soon to be married couples 15% off their entire wedding order.

About guardNOW:

guardNOW provides skilled professional security guards who know what to do in the event of an unforeseen incident. Guards are able to come to a location in just two hours without the need of a long term contract. Clients include small businesses, residences where the owners may be out of town, neighborhood surveillance, construction sites or vacant building that needs to be supervised. guardNOW also caters to special events for weddings, bar mitzvahs, quinceaneras, and birthday parties. Specializing in nontraditional security guard services, guardNOW offers premium service for safety and security needs.

Media Contacts:

(877) 482-7366 | www.guardnow.com

Teja Foster | teja@guardnow.com

Please be sure to visit that website. These folks guard KIM KARDASHIAN, you guys.