Yes, Mike Huckabee Says My Marriage Is A Hate Crime

Huckabee hate crime
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Like Law and Order, the GOP persecution drama never ends. Then again, maybe that’s to be expected. As America grows increasingly tired of Republicans’ sexist, racist, homophobic, gun-loving shenanigans, the victim card is about the only one that the Right still has to play.

I still don’t get it, though. I don’t understand the logic. How does my marriage to my husband violate Huckabee’s religious liberty — or anyone’s, for that matter?

Surely he’s not just saying that he’s opposed to the principle of marriage equality. If simply objecting to something in principle constitutes a violation of religious liberty, why isn’t this fine, upstanding Protestant gentleman speaking out about the evils of transubstantiation or praying the rosary? Surely he objects to those, too.

Or is he trying to say that, as a taxpaying American, he objects to my newfound legal status and the tax benefits my husband and I receive? Because please, bitch, don’t get me started on tax breaks for goddamn churches. They’re granted exempt status because of the sweat equity they allegedly put into their communities, improving them with services instead of tax dollars. But when’s the last time that First Baptist Church of Anywhere put their money into a daily soup kitchen or a homeless shelter instead of a gleaming, glistening, members-only “family life center”?

The only person whose religious liberty could’ve possibly been violated by my marriage was the Episcopalian priest who led the ceremony. But since she was a lesbian and we were in Provincetown, Massachusetts, I have a hunch she was onboard.

So no, Huckles, your religious liberty hasn’t been violated. Unless you think the U.S. is somehow a theocracy and you’re entitled to foist your religious views on everyone. If that’s the kind of place you want to live, I hear Syria is lovely this time of year.

As for hate crimes, we’re not even going to entertain that kind of wackadoo rhetoric. Christianity has been showing the world what a hate crime really looks like since the Great Crusades, and my marriage ain’t that.

2 thoughts on “Yes, Mike Huckabee Says My Marriage Is A Hate Crime

  1. RRRennie

    [But when’s the last time that First Baptist Church of Anywhere put their money into a daily soup kitchen or a homeless shelter instead of a gleaming, glistening, members-only “family life center”?]
    AMEN to that.

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