The first anniversary is always the most important. After that, we think in multiples of five. Five, ten, 25, 50, 75: those are the anniversaries that get noticed. Those are the ones we celebrate or mourn.

I can’t be certain why that is, but I’d guess that after a while, the process of remembering becomes too taxing. It requires too much effort to get worked up by something that happened so long ago: a marriage, a death, the founding of a nation, a natural disaster. It’s all in the past, right? There’s no need to pull out the confetti or the photo that makes you cry every single year.

But of course, if you don’t mark every anniversary, if you let them slip by, they become less important. The events they commemorate become vague in our memories. They people those events have touched become forgotten, overlooked.

As of today, Jonno and I have been together 19 years. I admit, we’re not planning a blow-out celebration (not that we ever do, honestly). I don’t think we’ve even bought each other gifts. But I’ll do my best to spend the day thinking about him and not taking him for granted.