- A grin of possums
- Nipple clamps forged from the finest Nepalese meteorites
- Possum-shaped pasties (set of three)
- His and hers menstrual cups
- Baby monitor lizards with custom Balenciaga booties
- Starbucks gift cards in increments of $19.48
- Sexy IOUs
- Shrubbery
- The $25,000 Pyramid home game
- One heaping handful of Peruvian cocaine (no baggie due to eco concerns)
- Monogrammed washcloths
- Cocaine-scented washcloths
- Rear bumpers stolen from double-parked Lincoln Town Cars
- Coal
- Jamaican pie
Things Grace Jones would give as Secret Santa
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