A Pomposity of Collective Nouns for Immediate Use

Standard

I love a collective noun. It adds personality to something that would otherwise be generic, overlooked, invisible. Sure, you can call a bunch of ravens a “group” and still be invited to all the best parties, but it’s much more interesting to call that bunch an “unkindness”. A group is just a group, but an unkindness? That’s got oomph.

Other knockouts include:

  • A shewdness of apes
  • A cauldron of bats
  • A consortium of crabs
  • A murder of crows
  • A parade of elephants
  • A tower of giraffes
  • A richness of martens
  • A parliament of owls
  • A prickle of porcupines
  • A maelstrom of salamanders
  • An audience of squid

And my personal favorite:

  • A blessing of unicorns

Alas, collective nouns apply mostly to non-human animals. We have plenty of synonyms for groups of people–army, band, bevy, crew, crowd, gang, mob, throng, etc.–but they’re not applied consistently to particular collections of folks. A few phrases have entered our vocabulary like a “bevy of beauties” or a “gang of thieves”, but it’s mostly because we like the alliteration or the meter. You could just as easily say a “crush of beauties” of a “mob of thieves”, and no one would give you the stinkeye.

And so, I’d like to propose a few updates–a few collective nouns to give the English language more flair:

  • A benevolence of nurses
  • A menace of babydykes
  • An ululation of bachelorettes
  • A fetch of basic bitches
  • An imbroglio of bros
  • A besiegement of Beliebers
  • A token of Chaturbators
  • A scruff of circuit bears
  • A closet of evangelicals
  • A screech of debutantes
  • An ossification of deacons
  • A generosity of daddies
  • A tintinnabulation of Hare Krishnas
  • A kibble of furries
  • A soupçon of normies
  • A swoon of leather queens
  • A supersaturation of influencers
  • A snarl of DILFs
  • A yawp of GILFS
  • An abhorrence Log Cabin Republicans
  • A transmutation of muscle Marys
  • A slip of otters
  • A protuberance of strippers
  • A limpness of parTy queens
  • A jaundice of Proud Boys
  • A lacrymatory of theatre queens
  • A potluck of Radical Faeries
  • A hotpocket of stoned gamers
  • A flatulence of vegans
  • A spread of tarot card readers
  • An arrogance of trade

And of course:

  • A vanity of bloggers

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.