I’ve been so busy creating infographics, I totally forgot about today’s semi-holiday. Please enjoy what’s left of it by chugging a PBR and looking at this, the strangest stock photo I’ve come across all day:

I’ve always had a soft spot for animals. I grew up surrounded by cats, dogs, cows, horses, turtles, and the occasional hamster. I’ve been an off-and-on vegetarian for much of my life because I don’t like the thought of causing pain. Once, I even took it upon myself to throw back the bream my dad and brothers caught on a weekend fishing trip. So it should come as no surprise that I’ve found it nearly impossible to watch the footage running on newscasts these days — b-roll of animals covered in crude from the BP oil leak.

And yet, I’d never want to reduce the disaster to that. I’d never want to quantify BP’s impact based solely on the number of animals killed. Doing so would minimize or maybe erase altogether the damage done to the residents of Louisiana and their families, beginning with the 11 workers killed in the Deepwater Horizon explosion and continuing today, as small businesses go under and people lose jobs they’ve held for decades.

Animal deaths are an important metric, but not the only one. They have to be considered alongside other stats and graphics that are less cutesy, less emotionally appealing, like the number of fisherman BP has put out of work, the number of restaurants that have closed their doors for good, the miles of Louisiana coastline lost to sludge — sludge that only accelerates the already-speedy deterioration of our unique marshland ecosystem. And so, with that in mind:

[Times-Picayune]

This comes courtesy of one of my vendors, who sells the crap that I occasionally use to commemorates such crap. It is a vicious circle, which is not the same as a vicious cycle.

In related news: Happy Corn on the Cob Day!

JUNE
1. National Go Barefoot Day
2. Leave the Office Early Day
6. National Cancer Survivors Day
6. Children’s Awareness Memorial Day
7. Daniel Boone Day
8. Upsy Daisy Day
10. Ball Point Pen Day
11. Corn On The Cob Day
12 – 13. Raggedy Ann & Andy Day
14. Pause For The Pledge Day
14. Family History Day
15. Nature Photography Day
16. Fudge Day
17. Recess At Work Day
18. Work @ Home Father’s Day
19. Garfield The Cat Day
20. Family Awareness Day
20. Father’s Day
21. National Daylight Appreciation Day
21. Summer Solstice
23. Public Service Day
23. Let It Go Day
24. International Fairy Day
24. Celebrate the Senses Day
25. Take Your Dog To Work Day
28. Please Take My Children To Work Day

JULY
1. Canada Day
1. Second Half of The Year Day
1. U.S. Postage Stamp Day
1. Zip Code Day
2. I Forgot Day
2. International Chicken Wing Day
3. Compliment Your Mirror Day
3. International Day of Cooperatives
3. Stay Out Of The Sun Day
4. Fourth of July or Independence Day
4. Independence From Meat Day
4. Indivisible Day
4. International Drive Your Studebaker Day
6. Earth at Aphelion
6. Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day
7. Chocolate Day
7. Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day
7. Tell The Truth Day
8. SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama)
9. Martyrdom of The Bab
10. Clerihew Day
10. Don’t Step On A Bee Day
10. Hop A Park Day
10. Teddy Bear’s Picnic Day
11. Bowdler’s Day
11. World Population Day
12. International Town Criers Day
13. Embrace Your Geekness Day
13. Gruntled Workers Day
15. Gummi Worm Day
15. Get to Know Your Customers Day
16. Hot Dog Night
17. Wrong Way Corrigan Day
17. Yellow Pig Day
17. Cow Appreciation Day
17. National Hot Dog Day
17. Toss Away the ‘Could Haves’ and ‘Should Haves’ Day
17. Woodie Wagon Day
18. National Ice Cream Day
19. National Get Out of the Doghouse Day
19. National Hug Your Kid Day
20. National Lollipop Day
23. Gorgeous Grandma Day
23. Hot Enough For Ya Day
24. Cousins Day
24. National Drive-Thru Day
24. Tell an Old Joke Day
24. National Day of the Cowboy
25. Parents’ Day
25. Thread The Needle Day
26. Take Your Dog To Work Day
26. One Voice
27. National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day
27. Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day
27. Walk on Stilts Day
28. National Milk Chocolate Day
29. Lasagna Day
29. National Chili Dog Day
29. Rain Day
30. Cheesecake Day
30. Father-In-Law Day
30. System Administrator Appreciation Day

AUGUST
1. Girlfriend’s Day
1. Lughnasa
1. Respect for Parents
1. Rounds Resounding Day
2. Hypnosis Day
2. Satchmo Day
3. Braham Pie Day
4. Coast Guard Day
4. National Chocolate Chip Day
4. National Mustard Day
4. Women’s Pro Football Day
5. National Gymnastics Day
5. Psychic Sunday
5. Sister’s Day
6. Friendship Day
6. Hiroshima Day
6. National Fresh Breath Day
7. National Night Out
7. Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day
7. Professional Speakers Day
8. The Date to Create
8. Happiness Happens Day
8. Sneak Some Zucchini Onto your Neighbor’s Porch Night
8. National Underwear Day
9. Filipina-American Recognition Day
9. International Day of the World’s Indigenous People
9. Veep Day
10. National Duran Duran Appreciation Day
10. S’mores Day
10 – 12. Kool-Aid Day
12. Eleanor Roosevelt Day
12. International Youth Day
12. Vinyl Record Day
12. Elvis Presley Commemoration Day
11. National Garage Sale Day
13. Herbert Hoover Day
13. International Left Hander’s Day
14. National Navajo Code Talkers Day
14. V-J Day
15. Best Friends Day
15. Chauvin Day
15. National Relaxation Day
15. World Day of Reiki
16. Joe Miller’s Joke Day
17. Meaning of “Is” Day
17. Men’s Grooming Day
17. Sandcastle Day
18. Bad Poetry Day
18. National Homeless Animals Day
18 – 20. National Personal Chef’s Day
19. Aviation Day
19. “Black Cow” Root Beer Float Day
19. Sandcastle & Sculpture Day
22. Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day
22. Be an Angel Day
23. Day for the Remembrance of the Slave trade & Its Abolition
23. Valentino Day
24. Vesuvius Day
24. National Waffle Day
25. Kiss and Make Up Day
25. National Second-hand Wardrobe Day
26. National Dog Day
26. Pony Express Day
26. Women’s Equality Day
27. “The Duchess” Who Wasn’t Day
28. Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day
28. Crackers Over the Keyboard Day
29. According to Hoyle Day
29. More Herbs, Less Salt Day
30. National Holistic Pet Day
30. National Toasted Marshmallow Day
31. Love Litigating Lawyers Day

If you watch reality television, you know Ronnie Kroell as the chiseled, all-American, Ralph Lauren-type from the not-so-good-but-kinda-bearable Make Me A Supermodel thingamajig.

If you’re not in a coma, you also know that Ronnie posed nude for Playgirl, and that the photos hit the web yesterday.

On the other hand, if you avoid reality TV the same way some of us avoid hard boiled eggs and salted plums, you might want to read up on him before clicking around the interweb to find NSFW naked shots like this one. Or maybe this one. Or possibly this one.

All I’m saying is: do your homework.

Jason Preston is rumored to be writing a juicy tell-all about the fast crowd he ran with during his tumultuous relationship with Marc Jacobs. The reports remain unsubstantiated, but according to Preston’s Twitter feed, he’s had it with those fair-weather friends, which might include Lindsay Lohan and Naomi Campbell: “Just think about how I had so many friends when I was with Marc where r they now?”

[NYMag via Towleroad]

Clearly, being a no-talent grammar-challenged gold-digging hanger-on isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Fuzz or abs? Treasure trail or cheese-grater? Closet case or head case? Jerk or jerk?

Ugh, so many decisions.

[via SocialiteLife]

[via BlogOfNewOrleans]

Miss Blondie Akimbo on the right is all like, “Yes, bitch, I know my stockings don’t match. Look around! I am au courant, honey.”

Yes, as Tyler reminded me, there is a Louisiana Shrimp and Petroleum Festival, held each Labor Day weekend. I’ve never given it much thought — ordinarily, I’m preoccupied with Southern Decadence around that time, or maybe a hurrication — but this year…

Well, you can see where that’s going.

If you’re a Tumblr user — and I know some of you are — you might’ve noticed that the website went black over the weekend. Not black as in “went down”, but changed its color scheme. Personally, I thought it was an aesthetic choice (that blue was getting a little old, no?), but it’s actually part of a campaign to raise awareness about the BP oil leak and raise money for recovery efforts.

If you have a Tumblr account, click over to your dashboard, and right below the “tracked tags” field you’ll see a “donate” button. Just like the widget says, for every $5 you send to Save Our Gulf through that widget, Tumblr will also send $5. And as a professional fundraiser, lemme tell you: a 1-to-1 match is nothing to sneer at.

If you don’t have a Tumblr account…well it’s free, and it’ll put you in touch with 95% of all bears and teenage girls in America. Surely that’ll pay off down the line.