I am living with three dogs and one heifer:

[via Jonno]

I mean, I know I’m biased, but c’mon: he looks like a cow, and cows are hilarious. They are also enormous and difficult to sleep with, but that’s another post.

Ha ha. Get it? It’s an ad for a military auction house, drawn by a 12th grader from the Mount Carmel Gifted and Talented Program. The original will presumably be displayed in the third-floor break room at City Hall (parking and permits division) during the week of July 5 – 9.

Anyway: enjoy your weekend weenies.

“What once was theirs, can now be yours.”

Advertising Agency: Heye & Partner, Munich, Germany
Creative Directors: Peter Hirrlinger, Zeljko Pezely
Art Director: Florian Binder
Copywriter: Christoph Gähwiler
Illustrator: Kunstsalon Posin, Berlin
Published: January 2010

A mashup of various bits, mostly from The Big Cube, which was a complete trainwreck of a film, as far as I can tell, and marked the last of Lana Turner’s star turns. It did, however, inspire Charles Busch’s DIE! MOMMY! DIE!, which was thankfully a smidge more subtle. Anyway, for the Lynch/Lana fans:

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=12703062&server=vimeo.com&show_title=0&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=ff0179&fullscreen=1

[via Mr. Newlin]

[via KevinAllman]

Click on that image. Get a good look.

Yes, it’s what you think it is.

I don’t really know what to say, except that mommy and daddy should probably renew their subscription to Prachachat newspaper now.

And start saving for therapy sessions.

P.S. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal will probably take  out a similar ad very soon — maybe with President Obama manhandling poor, defenseless Antonin Scalia in the Situation Room. With The Situation watching. Which doesn’t sound quite as bad as I’d expected.

Live in New Orleans or nearabouts? Looking for a party — something to get you out among the living after being cooped up for several days thanks to Alex’s rain-athon? I’d suggest heading up to Tip’s for tonight’s Gulf Coast benefit, which is just one of dozens taking place around the world today.

At just $15, the price is very right, and you can give cleanup volunteers a hand by bringing along a bag of supplies from your utility closet (full details below). Coco, Ivan, and I will see y’all there.

And just to be perfectly clear: no, I will not be performing. You’re welcome.

Supplies for Dirty Birds Collection at Tipitina’s during tonight’s Gulf Coast Benefit

Date: Tonight, Thursday, July 1, 2010

Time: 7:30pm – 11:30pm

Location: Tipitina’s Uptown, 501 Napoleon at Tchoupitoulas

Description: In support of the Barataria-Terrebonne National Estuaries Program, Tipitina’s is pleased to announce a collection point this Thursday July 1st for the supplies most needed by the Gulf Response Involvement Team (the wildlife cleaners).

BTNEP is currently looking for:

Clorox Wipes
Plastic Measuring Tapes (like ones used for measuring fabrics/sewing)
Knee-high Rubber Boots
Duct Tape
Large CLEAR Plastic Storage Bins with LATCHABLE lids
Solid Foam Camping Mats (for cutting to line turtle cages)
Yellow Kitchen Cleaning Gloves
Safety goggles/glasses
Bug Spray
Aveeno face sunscreen
Coppertone spray sunscreen
Zip Ties/Cable Ties
Heavy Mil Lawn Trash Bags
Hand Saws
Blue Tarps
Ratchet Straps
Bungee Cords
Nets (all shapes and sizes for catching wildlife)
Ziploc Bags (gallon and quart-double zipper seal for preserving samples, NOT THE KIND WITH THE SLIDE CLOSURE)
GPS Units
Baby wipes
Orange soap hand cleaner soap
Binoculars
Dry Bags (Dufflebag Style)
Grease Pens
Mechanical Pencils
Clickable Sharpies
Waterproof Paper
All-in-one Printer & Copiers
1” & 2” 3-ring Binders
Printer mailing labels
Scissors
Large Ice Chests
DC to AC Power Inverters
Bolt Cutters
Box Cutters
3 gallon Lawn Sprayers
Plastic Folding Tables
Heavy Mil Visqueen Plastic Roles
Rope
Large Rubber Trash Cans with Lids
Garden hoses
Leatherman Multi-tools
Waterproof Digital Cameras
2 GB SD memory cards
Digital Video cameras
Pliers
Mustang Lifejackets
Rain gear
Chest Waders
Nitrile gloves
Gauze pads
Forceps
Mini hand-held propane torches
8” x 10” dry erase boards and markers
Disposable sterilized scalpels
Clipboards with internal storage
Letter Sized File folders
Large Backpacks for making field kits
Pelican Cases
Aluminum foil
Small ice chests
Small hard-plastic swimming pools
300 gal Rubbermaid Tanks
Electrical Tape
Hand Soap (soft soap)
Bleach
48” wooden stakes (1” x 2”)
¼” Yellow twisted nylon rope (minimum 100’ lengths)
Solar power units
Plastic sheet protectors (8.5” x 11”)
White copier paper (8.5” x 11”)

Ransack the house, empty the closets, go borrow something from your neighbor (kidding) or stop by a store on the way to the show. There will be a collection point by the Tip’s Walk of Fame. Come donate something to help clean these dirty birds then go shake a tail feather to Galactic, Ivan Neville, Coco Robicheaux and more.

There’s more info at VOLUNTEER.BTNEP.ORG. See ya tonight!

A video outtake — from the tie, I’m guessing early 70s —  submitted to one of the automotive sites I write for.

FYI, the actor is the late Robert Ridgely, a Hollywood fixture known for his work on camera (in Boogie Nights, for example) and as a voiceover artist (he performed Thundarr in Thundarr the Barbarian AND the Purple Pieman from Strawberry Shortcake). He could’ve also made callbacks for Boys in the Band:

Nope, still terrible.

[via Mashable]

Need a little motivation? Maybe some tunes to help you plow through that design project for the client who wants her display ad to look “edgy but traditional, with a hip hop frame of reference”? Or perhaps you just want something to drown out the pitter-patter of little account executives as they scurry through the cubicle warren? I suggest my sister’s kickin’ new podcast for Brooklyn Radio. Apart from ditties by Funkadelic and Jack White, she also spins something called Rootboy Slim & The Sex Change Band. To which I think we can all say: yowza.

The podcast — which you can stream or download — is on Tiff’s page for Brooklynradio.net. Look for the one called “Goodbye Frank Sidebottom & Gary Shider”.

Also: if Tiff’s Facebook status updates are accurate, I think we can expect to hear her some of her own new music very, very soon. Stay tuned!

99 times out of 100, erotic art is an oxymoron — the kind of thing done by amateurs (like me) who think that by grayscaling a pic and rotating it 15 degrees, they’ve turned a lurid, poorly lid snapshot into something suitable for framing. Not that erotic art doesn’t exist — it does — but it requires a certain je ne sais quoi.

What I find interesting about much “real” erotic art is the artists themselves — namely, their obsession with a particular physical act or body type. Think of all those Vargas girls, one after the other, thin and buxom, in lingerie, innocent and caught unawares. Clearly, Alberto had a pretty specific fantasy repertoire.

And so it is with one of my fave recent Tumblr finds: the London artist who goes simply by the name of “simon” at his website, BRUTE by simon. I’ll warn Mr. Huckabee and anyone else prone to ickiness that the image above is one of the tamer on the site. That’s a plus in my book, but you know: different strokes.

I’ll warn the twink-lovers, too: you’re going to be sorely disappointed. The model for most of simon’s work is a very beefy amalgamation of Bob Hoskins and Ed Asner. Which is also a plus in my book, but I can respect those who prefer Zac Efron over Zach Galifianakis. I don’t understand you, but I respect you.