1. My sleep habits: I mean, I know that the time shift has thrown me off, and I know I’m an early riser, but bounding out of bed–literally, bounding–at 4:30am is unseemly.
2. Al Gore: ZOMG, he does the same thing everyone else does with profile pics (i.e. uses one that’s a decade or so out of date and rilly flattering and stuff). Yeah Al, you’re hot and all, but sweetie wasn’t that photo taken 80 pounds ago?
3. The creation of alternate universes: Which is what this $20 kit promises, but then you realize that it’s essentially a philosophical exercise. The frosted side of me is not amused.
4. The effect of shopping locally:Gambit Weekly and other alt papers around the country are encouraging readers to spend at least $100 in local shops this holiday season. That’s a pretty modest amount, and in New Orleans alone, it could pump almost $20 million into the city’s economy–which, on the contrary is no small change. (Hippies, take note: you can do this and still swear allegiance to Buy Nothing Day; just wait ’till November 29 to buy those hackysacks.)
5. Fable 2: It’s kinda goddess-awful, but I can’t stop playing. I’m OCD that way. Stay tuned for a review….
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More crap from the Times-Picayune
Bruce Alpert at the Picayune has written a completely speculative article (framed as “news”) about Obama’s plans to ignore Gulf Coast recovery. If you’re not up for reading the entire goddess-awful thing–and really, who could blame you?–Alpert basically says that Katrina won’t be on Obama’s list of priorities, then spends the bulk of the piece getting quotes from Bobby Jindal, Dollar Bill, Mary Landrieu, and our other hamstrung senator who’s been in hiding so long that I can’t even remember his name. Of course, there’s nothing from Obama at all, and the “writer” obviously didn’t bother to do much Googling, because if he had, he’d have stumbled across this:
As president, Barack Obama will keep the broken promises made by President Bush to rebuild New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. He and Joe Biden will take steps to ensure that the federal government will never again allow such catastrophic failures in emergency planning and response to occur.
Barack Obama swiftly responded to Hurricane Katrina. Citing the Bush administration’s “unconscionable ineptitude” in responding to Hurricane Katrina, Obama introduced legislation requiring disaster planners to take into account the specific needs of low-income hurricane victims. Obama visited thousands of Hurricane survivors in the Houston Convention Center and later took three more trips to the region. He worked with members of the Congressional Black Caucus to introduce legislation to address the immediate income, employment, business and housing needs of Gulf Coast communities.
As president, Barack Obama will partner with the people of the Gulf Coast to rebuild now, stronger than ever.
So where was that? On Change.gov, the president-elect’s official transition website that outlines his incoming agenda. You know: the agenda the reporter was criticizing? Oops.
In light of all that, the Alpert kinda comes off like Dawn French in that skit where she plays the British royal “expert” who’s got zero insider info and is clearly a total hack:
Now, just so we’re clear: I have no problem criticizing the president. In fact, we could and should have had a LOT more of that in the early days of W’s administration. (Remember back in 2001 how excited we were that Bush could form complete sentences? And how, after September 11, questioning him was made to seem unpatriotic–nay, an act of terrorism? Who was grilling the man then?) No one is perfect, and everyone should be held to task. Everyone.
That said, at least let the man take office before you start blaming him for his failure to undo all the crap that’s been left by the previous administration. In the meantime, maybe the Picayune should try its hand at reporting, say, news.
UPDATE: Obama’s agenda is down for revisions. Good news? Bad news? Killer bees nesting in the circuitry? The breath, she is bated.
Three years after the destruction of Hurricane Katrina, Henry Rollins ventures to New Orleans to examine the city’s current condition first hand. Avoiding the tourist center, Henry is overwhelmed by the lack of progress being made in the surrounding areas. In his search for answers, Henry instead discovers a fresh slate of devastating problems that now threatens this community post-Katrina. Even as tourism approaches pre-storm levels, tens of thousands of residents find themselves dealing with the depression of a city still living with the wreckage of the levee’s breach and now being victimized by a surge in violent crime.
In exclusive interviews with author Jed Horne (“Editor of leading New Orleans newspaper, “Times Picayune,” during Katrina”) and city officials like Cecile Tebo (Mental Crisis Coordinator, NO Police), and Jim Bernazanni (FBI), it becomes glaringly obvious that New Orleans still needs our help. Henry’s stage performance, at the legendary Tipitina’s music venue, is thus a tribute to the people of New Orleans who continue to persevere. Henry also has the opportunity to meet with music legend, Irma Thomas, the “Soul Queen of New Orleans,” who explains how the music community has been affected and the role they continue to play in the aftermath.
So (a) it’s slightly old, and (b) feh.
FYI, this is one in a series of IFC docs that Mr. Rollins is doing–a series called Henry Rollins: Uncut. Which brings to mind a completely different image of the man. CAN WE PLEASE SEE THAT DOCUMENTARY PLEASE PLEASE?
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Dear Mr. Obama:
I am sure that by now someone has told you that you won the election. Congratulations!
Let me just say that it will be a real treat to have an articulate, intelligent, curious, debate-friendly man as America’s Next Top Spokesmodel. In the past 48 hours alone, you have given our country’s image a much needed shot in the arm. You have also made many people weep with joy, which is kind of what we do when we hear our current president speak, but with more joy. In fact, I am already tearing up at the thought of your inauguration and the dress that Michelle will wear to it. (FYI, I rather liked the red and black number from Tuesday, except for those crazy side panels. She looked like a very foxy doorway.)
But enough preamble. I am an impatient man, and judging from your metabolism, I can only guess that you’re the antsy sort, too. Therefore, I will get right down to business with my wish list. I know that you are probably receiving many such lists right now, but I have been ESPECIALLY good this year, so please take that into consideration. Now, in order of importance:
1. Find a way out of Iraq and Afghanistan. I know that we keep saying that we have to “win”, but your predecessor has made the war unwinnable by calling it a War on Terror, which is akin to having a War on Anger or Happiness or Melancholy or Ooginess (i.e. UTTER NONSENSE). We all know that the Iraqis and Afghans aren’t going to step up until we step out, so find a way to save face and back quietly out of the very sandy room.
2. Fix the economy. I can’t even balance my checkbook–assuming people do that kind of thing anymore–so I can’t offer any suggestions on how you might make this happen, but surely you know someone with banking savvy. If all else fails, ask Michelle–she looks like she’s good with budgets. (Note: fixing the economy will probably be easier once you deal with item #1, which is why I put it first. I am smarter than I look.)
3. Encourage the development of new energy resources. Don’t penalize the oil industry or the auto makers or anything, but offer incentives for them to move on. You know: attracting more flies with honey and all that.
4. Push equal protection legislation for GLBT folks. It’s a few simple words we’re asking for. You can probably just amend the Civil Rights Act of 1964. (If you don’t have it in MS Word format, I’ll email you a copy.) You don’t have to talk so much about marriage or military service or anything, but those will follow. AS THEY SHOULD.
5. Change the tone of religion in politics. I’m not asking you to show that Democrats can be just as bible-thumpy as Republicans. I’m asking you to show that there are multiple ways to be religious in America–including being non-religious. Religion is frustrating and divisive, and in 2008, we could probably do with a little less of that.
6. Be transparent. I don’t mean like the Invisible Man–though, you know, that’s kind of eloquent, when you think of the Ralph Ellison novel. No: I mean stay in front of us. Talk to us and let us know what you’re doing. Let us ask questions of you, and try to answer them sincerely. As someone living with both a president and a mayor who can do none of those things, I can’t tell you how important it is.
Well, that’s it for now. If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know. Give my regards to the family–and for goddess’ sake, please visit the SPCA for that damned puppy!
Your fan,
I really mean that,
I have also been really, really good,
Richard
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I repeat, because it’s important: it is more than a little ironic that on the same day America saw a major civil rights victory, we also saw numerous civil rights setbacks. Even worse: those setbacks were delivered at the hands of many people who voted for Obama.
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I am not sold on this election.
Rest assured, I voted for Obama. (I’m not quite a Yellow Dog Democrat, but I was born with a case of jaundice, so, you know: close.) And I’m happy that he won, and I’m happy that some of the candidates using hatred and xenophobia this election cycle got totally busted, and I’m especially happy that Sarah Palin will remain about as far from Pennsylvania Avenue as anyone can be and still remain on US soil, because that woman would be more like Bush than Bush: okay on-script, but at heart, a complete idiot and a puppet.
However: there were some significant losses yesterday, namely on the gay marriage front. Now, I don’t necessarily think that gay marriage is the be-all and end-all of GLBT rights–in fact, I think an equal protection clause would be more effective and useful for us. And no matter what the results of yesterday’s showdown might’ve been, I still wouldn’t be able to marry in my home state of Louisiana. But it’s still not pleasant being told that your relationship is somehow less valid–in the eyes of the public, the IRS, hospitals, etc.–than some late-night drunken Las Vegas wedding chapel hitching. (I’m looking at you, Britney.) I mean, Jonno and I have been together longer than any of my mother’s or father’s recent marriages. Doesn’t that count for something?
More to the point: it is more than a little ironic that on the same day America saw a major civil rights victory, we also saw numerous civil rights setbacks. Even worse: those setbacks were delivered at the hands of many people who voted for Obama.
I hate to resort to cliched arguments, but why was it okay for the civil rights battles of the 1950s and 1960s to be decided by judges, while today’s civil rights battles have to go to referendum? Wouldn’t it be in everyone’s best interest to acknowledge civil rights and put some of this stuff behind us, so that races could be about economic packages and foreign policy and other real issues? Hell, Dems could have a reasonable shot at wooing Christian conservatives, and the GOP might be able to win more of the GLBT vote. Or would that just bore everyone to tears and keep them home on election day?
But beyond the GLBT-rights losses, there’s another issue, a more personal one: this race brought out serious emotions in my friends and colleagues. While I know many will be over the moon today, plenty of others will want to crawl under a rock. And while I could gloat and say, “Now you know how we’ve felt for the last eight years,” I don’t plan on doing anything of the kind. Maybe it’s because I like to see both sides of an argument, or more likely because I don’t like seeing people in anguish, but I’m just going to tread softly for a while until everything’s back to normal.
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GO VOTE!
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FRIDAY, OCTOBER 31, IS FOR MUSIC!
First, the obvious:
And for anyone who’s interested, download info for same:
Don’t say I never gave you anything for Halloween. Because, you know, Halloween is a holiday for giving, and I give a lot–not only candy, flowers, and music that you’ve had in your own collection since 1985, but also headaches, pains in the neck, and creepy, late-night, dorm room backrubs.
What can I say? I’m a giver.
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BIZARRO WORLD
In today’s Picayune, Nagin tries to clear up the confusion about Ed Blakely and his alleged department of recovery or whatever:
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said Tuesday that he wants his often-criticized recovery director, Ed Blakely, to stay for a third year, even as the mayor introduced a plan to dissolve Blakely’s department by June…
“It’s going to be his call,” Nagin said. “I’d love for him to stay a little longer, but, you know, he’s done his duty.”
Nagin said Blakely’s biggest mistake in fostering criticism was his promise of “cranes on the skyline” by September 2007.
“Here’s the rub: People are saying the recovery’s not moving because they don’t see progress,” Nagin said in an interview Tuesday. “I think if he could take one comment back, it would be ‘cranes in the sky.’ We don’t build high . . . so it’s not as readily available to the naked eye.
Speaking of high…. I mean, seriously dude: put your spokespeople to work and go back to Jamaica or Vegas or wherever you’ve been for the past two or three years.
Whatever. Move on down the page a bit, and you’ll find this curiosity–oddly enough, courtesy of reporter David Hammer, not Nagin:
The newspaper story did note that Blakely was sipping wine at the time, but he had just started on his first cup after an hours-long meeting with federal, state and local recovery officials.
Was Blakely at some kind of Renaissance Faire? Or maybe a very early Carnival parade? ‘Cause those are the only two places I can think of where anybody’d be swilling a “cup” of wine.
In other news, I’m at a hotel in Baton Rouge, where I recently fumbled and lost an entire cup of coffee. Seriously, LOST it: it spilled onto the carpet, and then it was gone. No trace. Rosie Whatsername ain’t got nothing on this low-pile shag.
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THERE’S A PARTY IN NAGIN’S MOUTH, AND WE’RE ALL INVITED! (TO CRINGE!)
Blakely gave an interview last week to The Times-Picayune in which he said he needed to talk with his wife and with the mayor about whether to stay for a third year in New Orleans. Since then, Blakely has alternately called the newspaper story a “false report” and reiterated his intentions to consider his options.
Yesterday, the mayor made his first public comments on the subject, telling television reporters that he thinks Blakely will stay, but confirming that he’d have to discuss it with his aide in December.
Nagin tried to dismiss Blakely’s interview with The Times-Picayune by saying, “I think a reporter sat him down after he had a couple bottles of wine, he got a little too relaxed and started talking about how homesick he was….”
“He has done, in my opinion, a lot of great work. I don’t think this recovery would be where it is today without his great work.”
So not only is Nagin doing that thing again–you know, where he talks out his ass?–but he’s trying to convince his Partner in Asshattery to stick around and screw us over for another couple of years. Neat.
Frankly, I think the happy couple ought to take a pied-a-terre in the Pontalba and invite fellow whackjob Chris Rose over for a few more bottles of hooch. Who knows where things might go–though, in my dreams, all three wake up naked and spent on an iceberg north of the Artic Circle. Maybe Ms. Palin would rescue them and put them to work on her 2012 presidential campaign? Adorbs.
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