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TOP TEN WORST THINGS ABOUT
EVACUATING FOR A HURRICANE

10. Fear

9. Anxiety

8. Depression

7. Weight gain (3.5 pounds and counting–in just one week!)

6. Evacuation traffic

5. Re-vacuation traffic

4. Having to see/hear our numbskull mayor hold forth on TV, radio, and the interweb for days on end

3. TIE: The mind-numbing stretch of I-65 between Montgomery and Mobile; also, the mind-numbing stretch of I-49 between Alexandria and Shreveport

2. Having no food in the fridge when you get back (’cause you remember Katrina and cleaned everything outta there before you left town)

1. Not really being able to unpack until November 1

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In case you’re curious, Jonno and I are still in Atlanta. We’ve gotten word from The Nurse the the house made it through just fine, as did the interwebz. No cable as of the last time he wrote, but whatevs. Tila Tequila will just have to wait.*

If all goes according to plan, we’ll head back tomorrow. We’ve had a surprisingly pleasant time here, and I don’t think we’ve depleted ourselves financially, but it’ll be nice to sleep in our own bed. And having a yard for the dogs to romp around will definitely be good. Plus the routine of friends and work and rehearsal and whatnot…. You know, if it weren’t for our gut-wrenching departure, the dreadful waiting, the watching of cable news all day Monday, and the trolling of New Orleans-based websites to figure out when it’s safe to return, this would feel almost like we’re getting ready to come home from a vacation.

* Just kidding about Mlle. Tequila. I’m sure she’s got a beautiful soul hidden somewhere in that tiny frame, and I can’t really blame her for the fact that she’s cute, bisexual, and willing to ride the MTV pony all the way to the top of the money heap. But if I should ever find myself in the same room with her, I’ll set her on fire.

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Headed back to New Orleans after a long hurrication? Wondering if your power’s still out? Well, wonder no more! Entergy has created a tool that allegedly lets you know the status of service in your area–to your own house, even!

I, for one, am thrilled that Entergy has just added this 2002-era technology to its website. Talk about consistency! The service is so utterly useless that the Entergy experience you’d come to know and despise remains exactly the same. You don’t have to wait on hold for hours at a time to be frustrated by the company with the worst customer-relations in the world–now you can do it online, where the page-load time is only about half an hour, and there’s less information than ever! Trust me: after you’ve hurled your laptop across a crowded hotel room in a fit of pique, you’ll never go back to shouting at nameless, faceless, offshored customer service agents again.

• Click here for info on Entergy Louisiana (not New Orleans)

• Click here for info on Entergy New Orleans and other areas (including Entergy Purgatory, Entergy Limbo, and Entergy New West Hell)

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The last 24 or so hours have been like a long house party, minus the booze: really engrossing, really intense, and really jumbled. Now, in the cold, hard light of Tuesday, I’m trying to get back to work. (Thank you, internetz.) My frustration has fully shifted from Mother Nature to Photoshop7, so I guess that’s good–although my stomach has a hard time telling the difference. Ugh.

Spotty updates today thanks to work and switching hotels, but I’ll try.

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It’s nearly 11:00pm EST, and I’m finally going to bed. Between the storm news; the sci-fi/cosplay conventioneers inhabiting this hotel; the surreally beautiful afternoon spent at a dog run in Piedmont Park; the never-ending stream of texts and emails and tweets from both evacuees and folks deep in storm territory (the antithesis of the info vacuum that followed Katrina); a great catch-up dinner with friends; and the sad news about a friend whose dog had played with ours this afternoon, then passed away this evening–between all that, I’m feeling a little weird and disjointed and exhausted. And now Jeremy Davenport is on TV singing to me about visiting New Orleans. Icing, meet cake.

P.S. Thanks for all the words of kindness and concern. I’ll try to finish replying tomorrow!

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Fellow Gustav-watchers: if you haven’t already done so, may I suggest ditching Anderson Cooper for a while (we’ll be back, sweetie!) and getting your news from WWL TV instead? Dennis and Angela are smart, sanguine, and storm-savvy. Also, they know full well how to pronounce “New Orleans”, which you’d have thought everyone on Planet Earth learned a couple of years ago, but apparently not. Added bonus: Angela’s outfits!